Hey Readers,
Hope you are doing well. A lot has happened since my previous post. I have started becoming very hooked to dancing which obviously has surprised a lot of my friends and family. I don’t blame them though, I mean, come on, it’s me and dancing. They wouldn’t want me to embarrass myself *winks*. I have been losing people close to me, but also gaining some. Drama has taken over my life for the last couple of weeks and to be honest, it feels exhausting. Anyways, I will stop with the chit chat and get to what I was going to write about.
I usually
like writing about Relationships, Love, and Friendship, but today I am going to
mix up all of them together.
I have
always wondered, can someone you call a best friend, be a good partner? This
question has perplexed me to a point where I have given up on understanding
people’s thoughts about it. I have always thought that friendships are purer
than love, only for the simple reason that friendships never need a filter. And
when you get used to knowing someone without filters, doesn’t it then get to a
point where if you really are comfortable with them, feel good having them
around you, want to share everything with them, that kind off love would be
amazing right? Tell me I am wrong, I dare you. Well, some of you will. I have
met people who have such deep-rooted thoughts that friends cannot be partners
just because it ruins the sanctity of that friendship. They are worried about
losing that person by screwing up the relationship. I don’t blame them for
having such thoughts, but if that person really does mean so much to you, why
wouldn’t you make things work to have a great life together?
Communication,
that is the biggest pillar of a relationship becomes so much easier if you were
friends earlier. But when a friend asks you out, the easiest answer is to say,
“Oh, come on, you are a friend. I wouldn’t want to ruin what we have.” Why
would that even happen? To be fair, the only difference would be that the
platonic portions will be removed, but that should be something that brings you
closer and not move away from each other. Yes, I agree that relationships are
“serious” when you are involved with your best friend. It can never be a
fling. There are always going to be
emotions attached, and those strings are going to be strong. If a guy or a girl
you are close to tells you that they are okay with just having fun, turn it
down right away because, that is not happening in any way. Talk to them about
it and let them know that you already have too much invested in each other’s
life and that will ensure that a fling doesn’t work. “What have Ted and
Robin taught you if you do this?” (If you do not understand that last
question, just ignore!)
I
personally would want to first get to know someone as a friend before I even
think about dating them. Looks can be deceiving. You can never know how someone
really is, if their first intention is to try and impress you. That is one of
the main reasons as to why there are so many heartbreaks. You can only blame
yourself for holding on to someone toxic. I have seen and heard so many toxic
relationships (been part of some too). Men demanding their partners to “Cook
for them for 1 AM in the night even if the partner had a long ass day at work,
asking them not to talk to other guys, ensuring that they don’t wear the
clothes of their choice, asking them to change religions”. I am not saying Men
are bad, don’t get me wrong. These are examples of what I have experienced in
real life. If it was a friend you were dating, I genuinely think that you would
have the guts to question their thoughts right away.
The biggest
fear that people have when it comes to dating their best friends. Everyone
thinks that people are different when they are friends, and they are different
when they become a partner. I am totally agreeing to this. When the dynamic of
a relationship changes, there are always additional feelings involved. You
suddenly become more insecure, you start being possessive, you want to get more
involved. These things happen, but, if it gets to a point where it suffocates
you, I wouldn’t hesitate in calling it out or leaving that person only because
that is truly who they are. Coming back to the example of a guy not telling his
partner wear the clothes of her choice. I personally know someone who is so
supportive of his friends and encourages them to wear the clothes of their
choice, but as soon as he got a partner, you could see the chauvinistic ass in
him coming out. He wouldn’t let his partner come out in anything but Indian
wear. When your friends turned partners start doing shit like this, leave. That
is the biggest red flag someone can wave at you.
But I
prefer to look at the bright side of this beautiful relationship. Friendships
that are pure and filter free lead to amazing relationships. You will feel
free, independent, and have your own space when it comes to your life and
having your say in the relationship. The whole 50-50 deal would work in this
case. Friendships that turn into a relationship get you so close to someone
that their memories and the feelings for them last a lifetime and if that is
not love, I don’t know what is. Arranged Marriages are fine, you can get your
“conditioned” guy/girl but try living the statement, loving someone for who
they are and stick to them. If they are not good in some aspect, help them get
better. They are in the end a friend.
I would
love for the readers to tell me how they feel about this. Maybe you all have a
different view, and I am not against it, but I would want to talk to you and
try to understand your view about it. But if you agree with my views, cheers to
that!
Until next
time,
Aditya.
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