Friends in Love?

 Hey Readers,

Hope you are doing well. A lot has happened since my previous post. I have started becoming very hooked to dancing which obviously has surprised a lot of my friends and family. I don’t blame them though, I mean, come on, it’s me and dancing. They wouldn’t want me to embarrass myself *winks*. I have been losing people close to me, but also gaining some. Drama has taken over my life for the last couple of weeks and to be honest, it feels exhausting. Anyways, I will stop with the chit chat and get to what I was going to write about.

I usually like writing about Relationships, Love, and Friendship, but today I am going to mix up all of them together.

I have always wondered, can someone you call a best friend, be a good partner? This question has perplexed me to a point where I have given up on understanding people’s thoughts about it. I have always thought that friendships are purer than love, only for the simple reason that friendships never need a filter. And when you get used to knowing someone without filters, doesn’t it then get to a point where if you really are comfortable with them, feel good having them around you, want to share everything with them, that kind off love would be amazing right? Tell me I am wrong, I dare you. Well, some of you will. I have met people who have such deep-rooted thoughts that friends cannot be partners just because it ruins the sanctity of that friendship. They are worried about losing that person by screwing up the relationship. I don’t blame them for having such thoughts, but if that person really does mean so much to you, why wouldn’t you make things work to have a great life together?

Communication, that is the biggest pillar of a relationship becomes so much easier if you were friends earlier. But when a friend asks you out, the easiest answer is to say, “Oh, come on, you are a friend. I wouldn’t want to ruin what we have.” Why would that even happen? To be fair, the only difference would be that the platonic portions will be removed, but that should be something that brings you closer and not move away from each other. Yes, I agree that relationships are “serious” when you are involved with your best friend. It can never be a fling.  There are always going to be emotions attached, and those strings are going to be strong. If a guy or a girl you are close to tells you that they are okay with just having fun, turn it down right away because, that is not happening in any way. Talk to them about it and let them know that you already have too much invested in each other’s life and that will ensure that a fling doesn’t work. “What have Ted and Robin taught you if you do this?” (If you do not understand that last question, just ignore!)

I personally would want to first get to know someone as a friend before I even think about dating them. Looks can be deceiving. You can never know how someone really is, if their first intention is to try and impress you. That is one of the main reasons as to why there are so many heartbreaks. You can only blame yourself for holding on to someone toxic. I have seen and heard so many toxic relationships (been part of some too). Men demanding their partners to “Cook for them for 1 AM in the night even if the partner had a long ass day at work, asking them not to talk to other guys, ensuring that they don’t wear the clothes of their choice, asking them to change religions”. I am not saying Men are bad, don’t get me wrong. These are examples of what I have experienced in real life. If it was a friend you were dating, I genuinely think that you would have the guts to question their thoughts right away.

The biggest fear that people have when it comes to dating their best friends. Everyone thinks that people are different when they are friends, and they are different when they become a partner. I am totally agreeing to this. When the dynamic of a relationship changes, there are always additional feelings involved. You suddenly become more insecure, you start being possessive, you want to get more involved. These things happen, but, if it gets to a point where it suffocates you, I wouldn’t hesitate in calling it out or leaving that person only because that is truly who they are. Coming back to the example of a guy not telling his partner wear the clothes of her choice. I personally know someone who is so supportive of his friends and encourages them to wear the clothes of their choice, but as soon as he got a partner, you could see the chauvinistic ass in him coming out. He wouldn’t let his partner come out in anything but Indian wear. When your friends turned partners start doing shit like this, leave. That is the biggest red flag someone can wave at you.

But I prefer to look at the bright side of this beautiful relationship. Friendships that are pure and filter free lead to amazing relationships. You will feel free, independent, and have your own space when it comes to your life and having your say in the relationship. The whole 50-50 deal would work in this case. Friendships that turn into a relationship get you so close to someone that their memories and the feelings for them last a lifetime and if that is not love, I don’t know what is. Arranged Marriages are fine, you can get your “conditioned” guy/girl but try living the statement, loving someone for who they are and stick to them. If they are not good in some aspect, help them get better. They are in the end a friend.

I would love for the readers to tell me how they feel about this. Maybe you all have a different view, and I am not against it, but I would want to talk to you and try to understand your view about it. But if you agree with my views, cheers to that!

Until next time,

Aditya.

It is not working out

Hi Readers,

I have missed writing and I got to say that it has been quite sometime since I felt this way. I have been through situations where the phrase "It's not working out" pops up a lot. Well, most of you must be used to hearing this during break ups. But I personally am sick and tired of this reason being used for ending relationships. For me, relationships are created because they work. In sometime, if you are openly able to say that it's not working out, then you need to do some self analysis. I am not saying breaking up is wrong, some relationships are doomed from the beginning. But atleast, find a reason for why you think you two are not compatible. And, one piece of simple advice, when a relationship doesn't move in the path you want it to, just for one second atleast, think of the person who is the other half of the relationship and realize that no matter what you decide right now, will also affect them. Take in the moment, and tell yourself that you are in it, because you love that person and hiccups are always going to be there. That should not stop you from being committed to the relationship. If you fall down once from a bicycle and vow to never ride it again, you will miss the adrenaline of bike riding. Be bold enough to go ahead, and make things work instead of waiting for them to work itself out.

Funny Indian Relationships

I am going out of my usual way of writing and putting this one article in the middle of the other posts. I was thinking to myself how funny Indian relationships can get or are. Let's see a few funny acts you see only in Indian Teens.

1. There was a time when we were only allowed 5 normal messages a day. So if you spent even two of those messages for a person, they would automatically know that they are way more important than the others.

2. There used to be a time when mobiles were a rich commodity and back then Nokia had given lover boys a chance to create their own tunes which boys would often use to impress their loved ones.

3. Indian couples have this funny way of showing they love each other. When they cannot talk to each other or send each other a message, all they do is go under the blanket and give each other missed calls. But each of them god knows how understands what the other person is trying to say.

4. For some reason Indian people find time to write their names on any wall they find. Even hills sometimes, are engraved with names of random strangers. If you want to experience something like that, take a long distance train from the south of India to the north. You will definitely see numerous hills with writing and hearts all over them.

5. It isn’t everyday you will see a rocking boat. For some reason, Indians are all for Public Display of Affection (PDA), but in a form that grosses everyone out. I almost witness a rocking boat every time I go to the beach. Find some space people, at least enough to not weird others out. 

Hope this brought back some memories for the Indian readers and new insight about Indian couples for other country folks. 

Flirting - Right of Youth

Flirting

My most important phase as a teenager was flirting. The flirting phase for me started in my mid teens only because I was a total nerd until then. I didn’t really know much about what flirting exactly was, but as a learning adolescent I was curious. Trust me; the dictionary meaning of flirting is something you are not going to like. Well, being an Indian, the Indian way of defining it would be to say something to impress the opposite gender or maybe the same gender if that’s what you are into. Flirting for me has been pretty boring because I believe in real compliments; I don’t mind calling a person good looking if I really do mean it. But here, it is really frowned upon to be someone who keeps complimenting the other person. Having the label of a “flirt” is something you wouldn’t want with your name. Teens, there is nothing wrong with healthy flirting, but I would suggest, don’t shoot blanks because that is what makes the other person judgemental. Flirting isn’t bad; it is just that people have changed their mindsets that way. Don’t take lines from the internet, because all of them are outdated. Whatever you need to say, make sure it is from the heart, and it won’t even seem like you are trying to impress the other person. Look forward to your forthcoming ventures.

What is Dating?

The date

Dating is a standard way of saying that two teens are together. But in india, it is highly disregarded. Firstly we need to understand when someone is asking us out on a date. When someone is asking you to meet up randomly, don’t consider that a date. When someone specifically tells you that they want to take you out on a date, and then be prepared for it. Guys are highly mistaken with this one misunderstanding. Ask me, I know how it feels. Anyways, the date doesn’t have to be romantic or anything. Try and make the other person know who you really are. I don’t believe in acting fake around others. But the most important rule in a date is, when you meet someone make sure you are paying attention to the person with you, and not to your phone. I have gone through the pain of meeting someone and having to look at them being busy with their phones. Yeah, it did get on my nerve but that was the last of that. It doesn’t matter if you meet the person at a club, a beach, or at any high class restaurant. It depends on you. You need to be at your best to let the other person know about why you want to be with them at that moment. It is all about seizing the moment. All the best to your upcoming endeavors ladies and gentlemen.