Friends in Love?

 Hey Readers,

Hope you are doing well. A lot has happened since my previous post. I have started becoming very hooked to dancing which obviously has surprised a lot of my friends and family. I don’t blame them though, I mean, come on, it’s me and dancing. They wouldn’t want me to embarrass myself *winks*. I have been losing people close to me, but also gaining some. Drama has taken over my life for the last couple of weeks and to be honest, it feels exhausting. Anyways, I will stop with the chit chat and get to what I was going to write about.

I usually like writing about Relationships, Love, and Friendship, but today I am going to mix up all of them together.

I have always wondered, can someone you call a best friend, be a good partner? This question has perplexed me to a point where I have given up on understanding people’s thoughts about it. I have always thought that friendships are purer than love, only for the simple reason that friendships never need a filter. And when you get used to knowing someone without filters, doesn’t it then get to a point where if you really are comfortable with them, feel good having them around you, want to share everything with them, that kind off love would be amazing right? Tell me I am wrong, I dare you. Well, some of you will. I have met people who have such deep-rooted thoughts that friends cannot be partners just because it ruins the sanctity of that friendship. They are worried about losing that person by screwing up the relationship. I don’t blame them for having such thoughts, but if that person really does mean so much to you, why wouldn’t you make things work to have a great life together?

Communication, that is the biggest pillar of a relationship becomes so much easier if you were friends earlier. But when a friend asks you out, the easiest answer is to say, “Oh, come on, you are a friend. I wouldn’t want to ruin what we have.” Why would that even happen? To be fair, the only difference would be that the platonic portions will be removed, but that should be something that brings you closer and not move away from each other. Yes, I agree that relationships are “serious” when you are involved with your best friend. It can never be a fling.  There are always going to be emotions attached, and those strings are going to be strong. If a guy or a girl you are close to tells you that they are okay with just having fun, turn it down right away because, that is not happening in any way. Talk to them about it and let them know that you already have too much invested in each other’s life and that will ensure that a fling doesn’t work. “What have Ted and Robin taught you if you do this?” (If you do not understand that last question, just ignore!)

I personally would want to first get to know someone as a friend before I even think about dating them. Looks can be deceiving. You can never know how someone really is, if their first intention is to try and impress you. That is one of the main reasons as to why there are so many heartbreaks. You can only blame yourself for holding on to someone toxic. I have seen and heard so many toxic relationships (been part of some too). Men demanding their partners to “Cook for them for 1 AM in the night even if the partner had a long ass day at work, asking them not to talk to other guys, ensuring that they don’t wear the clothes of their choice, asking them to change religions”. I am not saying Men are bad, don’t get me wrong. These are examples of what I have experienced in real life. If it was a friend you were dating, I genuinely think that you would have the guts to question their thoughts right away.

The biggest fear that people have when it comes to dating their best friends. Everyone thinks that people are different when they are friends, and they are different when they become a partner. I am totally agreeing to this. When the dynamic of a relationship changes, there are always additional feelings involved. You suddenly become more insecure, you start being possessive, you want to get more involved. These things happen, but, if it gets to a point where it suffocates you, I wouldn’t hesitate in calling it out or leaving that person only because that is truly who they are. Coming back to the example of a guy not telling his partner wear the clothes of her choice. I personally know someone who is so supportive of his friends and encourages them to wear the clothes of their choice, but as soon as he got a partner, you could see the chauvinistic ass in him coming out. He wouldn’t let his partner come out in anything but Indian wear. When your friends turned partners start doing shit like this, leave. That is the biggest red flag someone can wave at you.

But I prefer to look at the bright side of this beautiful relationship. Friendships that are pure and filter free lead to amazing relationships. You will feel free, independent, and have your own space when it comes to your life and having your say in the relationship. The whole 50-50 deal would work in this case. Friendships that turn into a relationship get you so close to someone that their memories and the feelings for them last a lifetime and if that is not love, I don’t know what is. Arranged Marriages are fine, you can get your “conditioned” guy/girl but try living the statement, loving someone for who they are and stick to them. If they are not good in some aspect, help them get better. They are in the end a friend.

I would love for the readers to tell me how they feel about this. Maybe you all have a different view, and I am not against it, but I would want to talk to you and try to understand your view about it. But if you agree with my views, cheers to that!

Until next time,

Aditya.

Why I think Unconditional Love doesn't Exist

Hey Readers,

Hope you are doing great in life. I have been having some of the best time of my life. I got to say that I have been having downs personally, but all in all, it's been a good ride so far. I have wanted to talk to you about some thoughts I have been having about how I think Unconditional Love like we say, doesn't really exist. Maybe some of you who have been through crap in your life will agree with me at the very first instance, but for the rest, patiently read through the article and you might realize why.

Unconditional Love, according to me is when you do not have any conditions with how you are going to love someone. Us humans, are genetically not capable of creating that emotion. We cannot love someone unconditionally. Alright, some of you might compare the love you have for your parents and say it is unconditional. Well, I am going to say no to that. Parents are two people who will always be dear to us and we will love them, but it is not unconditional. Conditions are presented in your mind by itself, but if the conditions are fulfilled without an argument, you are never going to realize that your love was conditional. Your need to be satisfied is always going to be present. And the day that need is not satisfied, you are going to look for other options. 

Yes, everyone at one point looks for other options only because you want your conditions to be satisfied. The reason most relationships do not work are because we are so stuck up with wanting to be satisfied completely, we let go off people who could have potentially been the best girlfriend/boyfriend. You are going to have some conditions that are left unfulfilled. You are going to be put in situations where you will need to go out of your way and act on someone's condition. It will feel like an unsaid order. But a relationship in the end is all about giving and not expecting in return (Giving and Taking). So if your heart wants you to take a risk for someone, hold on to that person because not a lot of people will give your heart the strength to take a risk. 

Remember one thing carefully guys. When you think you have found someone who is worthy of being the one. Just realize what kind of conditions you have, understand who you are and what you are looking for in your partner, and if there is a situation where your condition is not complete, choose to follow the partner and don't let this condition get the best of your relationship. It is hard to find someone who you connect with in this world now. Follow love and not the condition. Let go off your fears and love will find it's way.

Why I think that being an Agnostic Atheist is the better Option

Hi Readers,

Hope you are all doing well.

I have been going through a lot of criticism considering my views of being an Agnostic Atheist and I thought why shouldn't I properly explain my thought process so that, people can realize what I am trying to say, but before I start. This article is clearly only for the ones who are open to any kind of opinion. If any of you are here, who is very very serious about their religion or not open to listening to any kind of criticism about their religion, please switch to a different article. This one is not your ball game. I am not kidding.

Still Reading? Okay. Firstly, I would like to start by defining what an Agnostic Atheist is for anyone who doesn't know what it means. Agnostic atheism is a philosophical position that encompasses both atheism and agnosticism. Agnostic atheists are atheistic because they do not hold a belief in the existence of any deity and agnostic because they claim that the existence of a deity is either unknowable in principle or currently unknown in fact. I genuinely don't believe in the existence of a deity. I do not believe that once in my lifetime there were gods who fought with each other, who killed evil, who danced or who brought in the art of dance. I believe in the capability of the human mind. I believe that this is all brought up by our mind. We have created this. We have created this to bring about a difference between in the pursuit of trying to be the better or the classy person. We intentionally have tuned ourselves into a society where we want to separate ourselves from the others just because we believe that will make us better than them. Well, I beg to differ because that's not where I belong. I like to think that I am part of a world where everyone is one or the same. I do not like considering that any god is to be prayed to in the form of an idol, a deity or a person. If there is something that you want to look up to for all the times that you are lost, or down or want moral support, turn and look to the person who gave you life, your Parents. If you still think that's not an option, or if you think that our existence is a black box if we do not believe in the concept of god, keep reading forward. 

Our existence is a black box, I agree, but we have all read about the evolution of mankind. Take a step forward and open your minds to thinking practically and logically for once. Do you really believe that some guy or some girl had super powers and they are our gods. Well, why aren't any of those people still here? Oh wait, because the Earth is suddenly become very toxic for them. I have heard such bull crap from so many people all of my life. Do not get confused or do not believe anything just because someone says it's right. I am not kidding. Don't listen to what I have to say to. Think for yourself. Think about the possibilities of every story that you have heard and relate it to the science that you have been learning or seeing all your life. Our human mind likes superiority, our human heart expects attention. Would it be too hard for it to come up with something to make it better than the others? Heck, we came up with zero, that's how we Indians are. I like to think that there is a superpower in this world, not because I think God is there, because I like to look up to someone or something, which keeps me pushing. I do not mind saying Allah, Amen, Jesus, Shiva, Satguru when I am scared, not because I believe in them, because I think that God is not in any form. It is only a superpower and I do not shame myself when I appreciate any other religion. I do not want to believe that any religion is better than the other. If you are one of those people, who think they are the better people, because you follow that religion, well you have a "bright"future ahead, my friend. 

We are in a world of history, art, culture, tradition. I do not want to believe that some God brought all this to the world. I like to believe that our human mind is so powerful that it has brought all this into the world. From being monkeys that was surprised with a spark from the clashing of rocks, to where we are today. We have developed because our brains are so creative. Love who you are because of what you are, not because of the color, religion, race that you are from. And learn to love others for who they are. Do not for one second think that they are below you in any way because of any reason. You do not have any idea of who is struggling in what way in their lives. It is tough in this world, and to believe in God is something that keeps them peaceful. I would never say they are wrong in following God, but to make it your world, and losing precious time is something I would advice against. 

If you think, I am making some sense. Don't follow me blindly. Think about it for sometime. Ponder on it over a walk. Then make your decision.

Until we meet again.