Know When To Give Up!

Hey Readers,

 

Hope you are doing well. I have been away for quite a while and my life has progressed so much from my last post. I am officially done with my master’s degree (Woot Woot!) and I am in the stage of starting my career again hopefully in the UK. Choosing this degree was a stupid choice but I don’t have any regrets because it was a challenge that I enjoyed attempting.

I am writing about a topic that is so close to my heart and a topic that I feel a lot of my readers can relate to. I want to talk about all the things that we attempt or pursue in life and how ambitious we are about getting past the finish line. Do we need to know when we should give up if we fail? If yes, how do we decide that? Is it our decision? Is it something our friends and family guide us with? Let’s talk this out.

I have had my share of bad decisions in life. It started from school, went into college, then with my career and most importantly my choice of friends and relationships. I have tried holding onto the wrong choices for a very long time not realizing that it was toxic in nature and how it affected not just me but also the people around me. I have been losing people all my life and yet I always blamed myself for them leaving. When I look back at those moments in life, I don’t regret losing them, because it has made my life better, made me stronger, made me realize that life isn’t about who leaves but it is about who stays! I am sure a lot of people will say the same about me as well. I might not have been there for someone who considered me close, or I would have left their life. I would love it if they confronted me about it and made me realize what I did. If someone does value the fact that I am a part of their life, I wouldn’t want to leave them.

Recently, a friend of mine was in a toxic relationship. One where the abuse was emotional, mental, and verbal. But for some reason, the relationship kept going on. Everyone around my friend would voice out their opinions that this is not good, and the right decision would be to end it or just give up in the belief or hope that things will get better. But it kept going without any improvement in the outcome. This is not just being stubborn, but it is about being naïve enough to not know when to give up! As much as we want things in our life the way we want them, we have got to let go when it is the right time. I was personally in a relationship where I questioned myself so much about my background, about my family, about how I could become the next ambani in life to impress my girl. But after the relationship ended, my heart gave way for my mind to work, and it showed me that I ignored so many red flags and warnings from everyone around me. I cannot blame anyone but me for what I went through, and it has damaged me for life.

I tend to cling myself onto people I am usually with in person which I agree is not a great thing to do and I am not proud of it. But when I felt lonely here in the UK, I used to think that I have friends back home. Friends I can count on, no matter what. But lately, I have come to realize that, at some point, “Always” comes with conditions attached. I kept holding on to the thought of friends for life, but little did I know that I would need to give up on that too. I have been arguing with people who say “family stays, friends don’t” because I honestly believed that friends are more supportive of us, and they give two shits about our wellbeing. But I guess I was wrong about that. All that we can do is play our part. Give up, but not too soon! Know when to give up!

Guide people around you when you see that they are stuck, stuck trying to achieve something that is not possible. Help your loved ones by being there for them when they are lost, when you know that they need you, no matter how hard it may be, be a critic in their life. Be their enemy who gives them critical comments on their decisions. It will bring them on the right path. I am known to be harsh with my loved ones. Some say I am a bully as well because I ask people to make decisions based on the advice, I give them. But little does everyone understand that my advice is usually focused on the best for the other person. I am not someone who focuses on sugar-coating tough statements. I am blunt about the stuff I believe in, and it tends to create an impression. But someone who really understands me sticks around, and if they don’t, well, I will give up!

I hope you all can relate to what I am saying!

This is me signing off!

Regards,

Aditya.

Friends in Love?

 Hey Readers,

Hope you are doing well. A lot has happened since my previous post. I have started becoming very hooked to dancing which obviously has surprised a lot of my friends and family. I don’t blame them though, I mean, come on, it’s me and dancing. They wouldn’t want me to embarrass myself *winks*. I have been losing people close to me, but also gaining some. Drama has taken over my life for the last couple of weeks and to be honest, it feels exhausting. Anyways, I will stop with the chit chat and get to what I was going to write about.

I usually like writing about Relationships, Love, and Friendship, but today I am going to mix up all of them together.

I have always wondered, can someone you call a best friend, be a good partner? This question has perplexed me to a point where I have given up on understanding people’s thoughts about it. I have always thought that friendships are purer than love, only for the simple reason that friendships never need a filter. And when you get used to knowing someone without filters, doesn’t it then get to a point where if you really are comfortable with them, feel good having them around you, want to share everything with them, that kind off love would be amazing right? Tell me I am wrong, I dare you. Well, some of you will. I have met people who have such deep-rooted thoughts that friends cannot be partners just because it ruins the sanctity of that friendship. They are worried about losing that person by screwing up the relationship. I don’t blame them for having such thoughts, but if that person really does mean so much to you, why wouldn’t you make things work to have a great life together?

Communication, that is the biggest pillar of a relationship becomes so much easier if you were friends earlier. But when a friend asks you out, the easiest answer is to say, “Oh, come on, you are a friend. I wouldn’t want to ruin what we have.” Why would that even happen? To be fair, the only difference would be that the platonic portions will be removed, but that should be something that brings you closer and not move away from each other. Yes, I agree that relationships are “serious” when you are involved with your best friend. It can never be a fling.  There are always going to be emotions attached, and those strings are going to be strong. If a guy or a girl you are close to tells you that they are okay with just having fun, turn it down right away because, that is not happening in any way. Talk to them about it and let them know that you already have too much invested in each other’s life and that will ensure that a fling doesn’t work. “What have Ted and Robin taught you if you do this?” (If you do not understand that last question, just ignore!)

I personally would want to first get to know someone as a friend before I even think about dating them. Looks can be deceiving. You can never know how someone really is, if their first intention is to try and impress you. That is one of the main reasons as to why there are so many heartbreaks. You can only blame yourself for holding on to someone toxic. I have seen and heard so many toxic relationships (been part of some too). Men demanding their partners to “Cook for them for 1 AM in the night even if the partner had a long ass day at work, asking them not to talk to other guys, ensuring that they don’t wear the clothes of their choice, asking them to change religions”. I am not saying Men are bad, don’t get me wrong. These are examples of what I have experienced in real life. If it was a friend you were dating, I genuinely think that you would have the guts to question their thoughts right away.

The biggest fear that people have when it comes to dating their best friends. Everyone thinks that people are different when they are friends, and they are different when they become a partner. I am totally agreeing to this. When the dynamic of a relationship changes, there are always additional feelings involved. You suddenly become more insecure, you start being possessive, you want to get more involved. These things happen, but, if it gets to a point where it suffocates you, I wouldn’t hesitate in calling it out or leaving that person only because that is truly who they are. Coming back to the example of a guy not telling his partner wear the clothes of her choice. I personally know someone who is so supportive of his friends and encourages them to wear the clothes of their choice, but as soon as he got a partner, you could see the chauvinistic ass in him coming out. He wouldn’t let his partner come out in anything but Indian wear. When your friends turned partners start doing shit like this, leave. That is the biggest red flag someone can wave at you.

But I prefer to look at the bright side of this beautiful relationship. Friendships that are pure and filter free lead to amazing relationships. You will feel free, independent, and have your own space when it comes to your life and having your say in the relationship. The whole 50-50 deal would work in this case. Friendships that turn into a relationship get you so close to someone that their memories and the feelings for them last a lifetime and if that is not love, I don’t know what is. Arranged Marriages are fine, you can get your “conditioned” guy/girl but try living the statement, loving someone for who they are and stick to them. If they are not good in some aspect, help them get better. They are in the end a friend.

I would love for the readers to tell me how they feel about this. Maybe you all have a different view, and I am not against it, but I would want to talk to you and try to understand your view about it. But if you agree with my views, cheers to that!

Until next time,

Aditya.

Love That You Want But Can't Get

 

Hey Readers,

 

Hope you are all doing well. It has been a while since I wrote a blog post. Life has taken a big turn in terms of where I was when I wrote my last blog post and where I am today. As I write this, I can only take a deep breath of relief as I am officially done with my first term of Uni in the United Kingdom. Feels good saying that since it has been a rollercoaster ride, nonetheless.

I was wondering what I could write about since this blog predominantly focuses on how it feels to be a teenager. Well, today I will write about something that turns us all into teenagers (Immature ones sometimes) – Love that we want but know that it will never work in our favor. This is a special one. A blast from the past.

Sounds scary but is such a beautiful feeling. I still remember the first night I met her. I didn’t have a clue about who she was, how she looked, how she would be. But I can only thank my stars that I met her that night. It was not for long, but a brief meeting that would trigger the beginning of a story that does not end well (Sorry for spoiling it so early in the story).

We talked and talked for hours, spent time getting to know about our past, our lives, our present and about what we wanted in our future. Every little thing she said made me feel closer to her, made me want her more and more. I didn’t know what this was since I had told myself that I would not date anyone after having been burnt bad in the past. I wanted to focus on my career, and I didn’t want to be hooked to someone. I kept trying to fight this feeling away, but it had become a seed in my heart, and I could not help but get attached to her.

If I was going against what I had planned, and pursuing this girl, I had to know where this was headed. I wanted to be in a committed relationship, and I had to assess if this would work long time. There were so many factors that I could think of, to tell myself that this even if she said she liked me would not work. Being an Indian, I could not help but think of how society would react to a situation like this, how my family would react to situation like this, and obviously how her family would react (Too early to be thinking of all that, but still had to).

I decided to give it a shot even though it was headed to a heartbreak for me. Why did I think it wont work? Well, I am and have always been an overthinker and I for some reason love making my life more difficult. I think it was an add on with my insecurities in life. I always thought I had too many imperfections in me. It does not help when you constantly see successful and good-looking people around you. And these kind off issues aren’t something you learn to live with, because it has dragged me down from my true potential. So, I tried my luck and like I guess, too many factors that were in the way. It broke my heart to think that it would never work because I was sure that I would be the right guy for her. She had been through so much in life and she deserved a man who loved her for her, someone who could take her to the light at the end of the tunnel. Someone who looks at her with awe in the morning, and someone who treated her like a queen. I was sure that I could be that man, but it disappointed me to know that there were factors that stopped her. I was not surprised though, since I always kept telling myself that this is not happening. I really need to work on my confidence levels. But one thing I learnt was, I would do anything for her. Call me crazy, but the love you get when you fall hard for someone is blissful. You feel happy that you were able to find so genuine in your life and you cherish every moment you have spent with them.

Now this was a situation, my heart kept asking me to come up with a solution for. She knew I liked or loved her. She knew that I was getting attached. The fact that I was getting devoted to the idea of a life with her scared her. It made her think if she should take a step back. I don’t blame her but boy, did that make me feel like a total loner.

There are days when we feel so vulnerable about our lives that we just wish that we could go back in time and change the way these events had transpired. All I could do was try to talk my way out of it. But I couldn’t. I was getting weak, because this love made me weak. I didn’t want to be in love with her because I had convinced myself that this is not happening, but I don’t know why I kept getting pulled towards her.

It is easy for us to say NO when we do not want something in life. The idea of having a partner is so real to me that shutting it down has become an intense affair. I don’t want to be someone who chases behind a girl. I don’t want to be someone who breaks down when life throws rocks on my path. I just had to remind myself that I was good if not great, the way I was. All I had to do was wake up and try to be a better version of myself one day at a time. And if someone does not get that, well, it is their loss.

I told myself that I cannot predict the future. I do not know if I will meet someone organically, fall in love and want to spend the rest of my life with them, but what I do know is I have to be with someone who appreciates the fact that I am in their life. I don’t know if you all have been through something like this, but it does take a toll on your self-confidence. It does make you wish that you had better circumstances in life to avoid the factors that cause issues later. But, the bright side is, it is not on you. You are amazing just the way you are. Judge yourself based on the growth you are giving your physical and mental health.

Talk to someone you trust about your feelings because they are valid, because it will make you feel lighter. Remind yourself everyday that you are good enough and you deserve the best in life too. Don’t stress about what you don’t have and cherish what you have. Feelings will come and go but if you are genuine with how you feel, you will always find the silver lining. If somebody does not want to be a part of your life, be gracious and let them go. That way, it saves you the hurt and saves them the guilt. I know this is easier said than done. I can vouch for that firsthand. But it helps. Stay loyal to yourself before you are loyal to the other person.

Stay blessed everyone!

 

Love,

Aditya.

Is it time to let go?

Hello Readers,

Happy New Year to all of you out there.

I hope the start to the year of 2019 has been blissful for you.

This New year, my focus is going to be one thing and that is the topic of my blog post too. Is it time to let go? Is it time to cut down on the sorrow in your life? I know using the word Sorrow here makes it quite vague, but the reason I am using it is because, there are a lot of factors that bring different feelings like hatred, disappointment, loneliness and all this results in sorrow. I have dealt with a lot in the last year. I have lost people I thought were close to me, and have gained haters for reasons that make no sense. But I have always been someone who tries to please the other person, and I went out of my way to make sure that the other person either doesn’t hate me or doesn’t leave my life. But in doing so, I have ended up losing my dignity, and looking weak in front of the other.

Someone once said, to forgive and forget, but recently I realized that when you let someone hurt you multiple times and forgive them, it becomes a habit for them since they now know that they wouldn’t lose you. The feeling of knowing that you are needed is like a drug. Abusing it feels very easy for everyone. I am an affectionate person and I don’t mind showing everyone around me that I need them, but I didn’t know that I was painting a target on me and I was an easy one too. 2018 taught me that I took myself for granted and that is why people took me granted. I reminded myself that I am a nice person. And that one statement changed my life. I cut down on the number of friends I had, slowly and slowly. It helped me gain self-confidence, and it also made me realize that the more number of people we know, it is hard to please everyone.

Always be with someone who would go out of their way to please you, and you should also go out of your way to please them. If it is one sided, then that is your cue to end that toxic relationship. Any relationship, where the effort feels one sided is toxic because one of you is the weaker one. I believe that a relationship (Friendship or Love) is complete, when the roles are equal. So Yes, it is time to let go. Time to let go off anyone or anything that brings the slightest of sorrow in your life. Focus on loving yourself and it will show the world that you are shying away from being alone too. Have friends and lovers, but make sure they need you as much as they do.

I am going to go ahead and call this an exercise. Make a list of people who you genuinely believe would go out of their way to please you, and then you would know the real number of friends you have. If you have a lover, you can use the same exercise. Anyone who is taking an upper hand and making you the weakling in the relationship is not a good partner. The sooner you realize it, the better it is for you. So make 2019 count, and make 2019 the year of Y-O-U!

The Perfect Partner

Hey Readers,

How are you doing? I am back with a very interesting topic (for some of you!) that I believe you might want to read. Few hours back, I spoke to a few people asking them how they would describe their perfect boyfriend/girlfriend. I got many different answers. Some extremely unique and some that most people look for. But one thing I noticed was everyone wanted loyalty. Kudos to that!

This experiment that I conducted for my “Research” was mainly to write this blog post. Now for anyone who is reading this, and I did not ask them, please stop reading right here and think of a few points that would contribute to your idea on the perfect girl/boyfriend. Go ahead. Do not think for a second that you do not know the answer to that. Everyone wants a partner in their life and you are not normal, if you cannot define what you look for in a person you would eventually want to marry.

Okay, now that you have thought about those points, let me tell you something. I am again dividing this into two group of readers. One who have experience in their past with relationships and the other who don’t (Fast forward to the next paragraph). For the ones who have had an experience, when you were plotting your points for the Ideal Partner, you must be thinking about someone in your head, when you said all those points. If you were negatively impacted by the person in a relationship, hit them a text or a call thanking them for making you realize what you wanted from your partner, because they have practically helped you. And if you were positively impacted by that person, and still they match the description you have, hit them a text or call them, do not hesitate when I say this, because love is a feeling, but a relationship does not work, unless you believe that they are right for you. If even for a second you thought of this person when you were describing your ideal partner, hold on to them. Do not let them go. Once bitten, twice shy.

For the readers, who do not have any experience in their past with relationship, you have set goals about what you look for in a person. Yes, I am calling them goals, because it is not easy to find love, not in the way our life works right now. But my recommendation would be to find someone who not only matches these points, but also someone who you genuinely believe is right for you. Chase the relationship, not the spark, because the spark is short lived, and you are left with the relationship. But if you chase the relationship, the spark can be kindled anytime you want. A lot of people make the grave mistake of chasing the spark and ultimately falling in a trap called their so-called relationship. You have your list of wants prepared. Just make sure, when you do meet someone who checks at least 90% of your list, you are going to try hard to make it work. This isn’t the movies, where the world unites you. You live in a country where it isn’t easy to maintain a relationship. So, try hard and don’t let go easy, because that is what counts. 

And there is more from where that came from. Stay tuned Folks :)

Why I think Insecurities are tough to handle

Hi Readers,

So I am back to reading and writing this week, as it takes my mind off things. I am sure all of you have a few things you do, when you don't want to think about what is happening with your life. But I am at a disadvantage there because reading something makes you relate your life to it, and writing something reminds you of everything that has happened in your life.

But as long as it is enthralling for you guys, I plan on doing it.
So, I have had the "pleasure" of having to feel insecure from time to time in a relationship. And no, I am talking about the kind of Insecurity where a guy feels bad for having 4 pack abs rather than a 6 pack abs. I am talking about an insecurity which someone like me would feel, where the guy has one pack of fat (Tummy) and he calls it with a name (I am just kidding! Please don't judge me.)

I was a very insecure person. I somehow managed to bring focus to my flaws and make myself feel vulnerable. And I had this weird thing, that even if I like someone slightly, and I see her talking to another guy, I decide that he is better than me. Even if he is a midget, with broken teeth and looks like a drug addict, I would want to be like him. No, this is not something I am asking you guys to do. This is a guide to who not to be in life (Me!).
But when such insecurities hit you in a relationship, it makes you suffer and start feeling needy. You constantly get the fear of being dumped soon, or either feel that you might get cheated on. And trust me guys, the feeling is not good. It did bring me to a low, because it was affecting my professional and personal life.

I am not saying that only teenagers go through this. Every single woman, man, boy or girl go through this in their day to day life. Be it a relationship, or work, or friendship. You are going to feel insecure at one point. It is not wrong to feel insecure, but it is wrong to let it ruin things for you and the other person. If you are someone who has never felt insecure in your life about anything and are rock solid that you are the best at everything that you do, I can only salute to you and say "Right on, Matey". For the others, here is where I start getting all philosophical and bore you with what you got to do in a situation of insecurity.

If you are feeling insecure, talk to someone you trust. Let them know how you are feeling. If it is in a relationship, that you feel insecure, talk to your bf/gf. Be open with them, but do not for once let them feel that it's a desperate attempt or cry for attention. You need to accept for once that you are feeling insecure that you might lose the other person. And let them know that it would genuinely help, if they did something to help you feel secure about what you have.  In my case, it did take me a while, but I finally got over my insecurities and was able to focus on the positive aspects of my life. And it made me a stronger person with each day passing. All you got to do is remember that no one is perfect. Even the best of the best are going to feel that there is someone better than them. Use your insecurity to your advantage and better yourself to be the best version of you!

Texting Your Crush

Hi Readers,

Been a while since I posted something. I have missed writing. Been a tough time with life. Ups and downs like everyone goes through. But the good news is, I have been kicked around before, and I have always come back stronger, and this time is no different. I feel like a different, better person. Thanks to maybe AR Rahman, for coming up with the song “Kun Faya Kun” which has always made me relieved during my darkest days. Happy birthday Maestro!

 

Today I am going to write about something that I did come across recently. Texting your Crush.

The minute someone brings this topic, it hits us like a nostalgia pill. Everyone by now must have had their first conversation with their crush. If someone has not yet got the chance, hang in there, buddy. Everyone has their day and you might just have it soon.

Texting your crush can have multiple effects on your life, because it is like a black box, where you have no clue of what input you give, and what the output might be. It can boost your confidence if it ends on a positive, or get you to a phase of self loathe if it goes downhill. My first advice would be to not send random desperate messages on Instagram or Facebook. If you do think, someone is handsome/pretty, just say hi, introduce yourself and present yourself through one message. Never say that you want someone to be their friend. And if you are doing this to a total stranger, think twice before doing it, only because, not everyone likes meeting strangers on social media, especially strangers who blurt out stuff like ‘I want to be your friend’, or ‘I think I am in love with you’. Type in your message and put yourself in their shoes and read the same message, I know, sounds crazy, so don’t do it. It’s a tough world out there. By doing this, you will seem like a lesser creep that someone might think that you are (No offense)! I did get to text a junior of mine who used to be my crush back in school. I didn’t have any idea of what she liked, what she did, or where she was. I did see her around in school and would find any chance of seeing her maybe in the corridor or out on the school ground. But never did I get to talk to her, neither did she ever try (Clearly way out of my league), so trust me, I have been there, and I have done that. But now, I have realised there are no pick-up lines, just one, say Hi and introduce yourself. Everyone likes a person with who they can have a conversation, and not just everything else (pun intended). I somehow picked up the courage of texting her, getting to know a little about her, and that way, a crush can slowly get serious. But unfortunately, the more I got to know her, I realised that the feelings I had for her, were again just an infatuation (Teenage hitting me hard!). I ended up just talking to her every now and then, just saying hi and bye. But the bright side was, my first conversation with a long-time crush went well. 

I hope you guys don’t hesitate to talk to your crush, but also at the same time, work on trying to look less scary! Kudos!

Why I think that being an Agnostic Atheist is the better Option

Hi Readers,

Hope you are all doing well.

I have been going through a lot of criticism considering my views of being an Agnostic Atheist and I thought why shouldn't I properly explain my thought process so that, people can realize what I am trying to say, but before I start. This article is clearly only for the ones who are open to any kind of opinion. If any of you are here, who is very very serious about their religion or not open to listening to any kind of criticism about their religion, please switch to a different article. This one is not your ball game. I am not kidding.

Still Reading? Okay. Firstly, I would like to start by defining what an Agnostic Atheist is for anyone who doesn't know what it means. Agnostic atheism is a philosophical position that encompasses both atheism and agnosticism. Agnostic atheists are atheistic because they do not hold a belief in the existence of any deity and agnostic because they claim that the existence of a deity is either unknowable in principle or currently unknown in fact. I genuinely don't believe in the existence of a deity. I do not believe that once in my lifetime there were gods who fought with each other, who killed evil, who danced or who brought in the art of dance. I believe in the capability of the human mind. I believe that this is all brought up by our mind. We have created this. We have created this to bring about a difference between in the pursuit of trying to be the better or the classy person. We intentionally have tuned ourselves into a society where we want to separate ourselves from the others just because we believe that will make us better than them. Well, I beg to differ because that's not where I belong. I like to think that I am part of a world where everyone is one or the same. I do not like considering that any god is to be prayed to in the form of an idol, a deity or a person. If there is something that you want to look up to for all the times that you are lost, or down or want moral support, turn and look to the person who gave you life, your Parents. If you still think that's not an option, or if you think that our existence is a black box if we do not believe in the concept of god, keep reading forward. 

Our existence is a black box, I agree, but we have all read about the evolution of mankind. Take a step forward and open your minds to thinking practically and logically for once. Do you really believe that some guy or some girl had super powers and they are our gods. Well, why aren't any of those people still here? Oh wait, because the Earth is suddenly become very toxic for them. I have heard such bull crap from so many people all of my life. Do not get confused or do not believe anything just because someone says it's right. I am not kidding. Don't listen to what I have to say to. Think for yourself. Think about the possibilities of every story that you have heard and relate it to the science that you have been learning or seeing all your life. Our human mind likes superiority, our human heart expects attention. Would it be too hard for it to come up with something to make it better than the others? Heck, we came up with zero, that's how we Indians are. I like to think that there is a superpower in this world, not because I think God is there, because I like to look up to someone or something, which keeps me pushing. I do not mind saying Allah, Amen, Jesus, Shiva, Satguru when I am scared, not because I believe in them, because I think that God is not in any form. It is only a superpower and I do not shame myself when I appreciate any other religion. I do not want to believe that any religion is better than the other. If you are one of those people, who think they are the better people, because you follow that religion, well you have a "bright"future ahead, my friend. 

We are in a world of history, art, culture, tradition. I do not want to believe that some God brought all this to the world. I like to believe that our human mind is so powerful that it has brought all this into the world. From being monkeys that was surprised with a spark from the clashing of rocks, to where we are today. We have developed because our brains are so creative. Love who you are because of what you are, not because of the color, religion, race that you are from. And learn to love others for who they are. Do not for one second think that they are below you in any way because of any reason. You do not have any idea of who is struggling in what way in their lives. It is tough in this world, and to believe in God is something that keeps them peaceful. I would never say they are wrong in following God, but to make it your world, and losing precious time is something I would advice against. 

If you think, I am making some sense. Don't follow me blindly. Think about it for sometime. Ponder on it over a walk. Then make your decision.

Until we meet again.

Teen Relationship Drama

Been a while since I wrote something. I have been seeing a lot of breakups lately, mainly because of one key reason, Parents. Well, I am sure our parents mean the world to us but, get a grip you guys. They are not going to have to spend a lifetime with someone. It is high time, people realize that. There are two simple ways of having a relationship with someone, one where you know there is no future and you both are open to having fun for sometime and two, where you both want a future and are ready to face any obstacle together. But if a relationships goes to a new scenario, well that's your cue to fleeing the scene. Every once in a while, I get emotional and think that having fun with someone in a relationships means that we can have a good future together, but up until she is in it too, I can come off too strong and look like a serious maniac. It is all about knowing where you are and who you are, what you want to be and who you want to be with. Teenagers think they know who their parents would choose, sometimes we cite caste as an issue, sometimes it is the career of the other person, etc. But ultimately, trust me it all comes down to the person who is citing these reasons. If someone really wants to be with you, they will. Key note to remember, it is rather better to end things with someone rather than keeping them hanging to you. Yeah, maybe someone likes a bit of attention of being someone's center, but once the other person realizes that, you could come off as a real bad person and trust me, every little thing you do has a consequence, quoting the Butterfly effect. Think about it, as this is something to dwell upon. It is easy for anyone being a dumper, but what goes around comes around, and someday when you are the dumped one, you might regret having to go through it. Love is just a word, with the way it is used these days. Neither does it have meaning, nor does it invoke a special feeling. Yes, things have changed. 

Motivation Required

Motivation can play a big role at times in a person's life. How you might all know. But little do people realize that even a small compliment can go a long way. Let us look at a small example. I was at a point in my life where I almost thought I had no friends. It is all because I was ridiculed at the way I lived my life by my friends and none of them showed up when I actually needed them. I was in my teens and I did not realize that what I was doing wrong. But it didn’t feel nice to be in that situation. All I wanted was to sleep and never wake up. Or maybe walk up to a hill and scream my lungs out. I had almost given up when I got a text from a long lost friend who I had not talked to for a long span of time. She asked me how I was and without thinking twice I broke down and told her how I felt because I literally wanted someone to let me pour my heart out to them. She was a good listener, she let me say everything I had to and then gave me a piece of advice that I will always remember. She told me that it shouldn’t matter to me what the world thinks. People talk shit about celebrities and if someone is actually spending time to talk about me, I should instead feel happy and feel like a celebrity. That one small piece of advice changed my attitude towards everything. It wasn’t really a compliment but it made me realize that it didn’t make any changes to who I was that someone was talking ill about me. I don’t talk to her now but she left a little piece of her in the form of a motivation to me. So if you ever think someone is sad or depressed because of something happening in their life. Go ahead and put yourself in their shoes and think of how you would handle that situation better and without any hesitation, help that person. Who knows, maybe you leave a part of your life with them too. 

Confrontations are TOUGH!

Confrontation

Phase I know not a lot of us have the guts to confront somebody when we need it, the basic scenarios where we need this phase is,

1. You are dumping someone.

2. You found out your bf/gf is cheating on you.

3. You screwed up with something.

Situations like these tend to get us all flustered when they happen in reality. I am going to give you a small guide on how to face these situations. Not that I am an expert with this, but all you got to do is jot down what you are going to say, never deviate from what you want and why you want to do it, and most important, realize that in the end, your happiness is what matters. Trust me, this little fact has got me past a lot of confrontations. No person is as important as forcing yourself to be part of something you are not happy with. You want to know why? It's because if you are committed to something happily, that is somehow doomed to end someday, but making it early will ease the effect. A thought to dwell upon. Ain't it?

Concept of Prototyping In Life

Prototype

This might be a vague topic but what lies beneath it is what I am trying to tell you, readers. A prototype is a work model that is used as a demo for checking if it can be made as the original. Our goal as a teenager must be very clear. Once that is done, making ourselves the prototype of who we want to be in the future will help us achieve that goal very easily. The only reason that I am saying this is because being prepared has helped me a lot lately. And I regret not doing it in the past. I wasn’t prepared to face what I would go through when I was in my teens. Being able to look at yourself in the future will in turn help you visualize things better and give you assistance in decision making related to your life. Try and it you might just make things right soon. It’s never too late. I realized what i was doing wrong in a stage where i could not do anything and later faltered because of it. But now i prepare myself for what is going to happen and I make sure I do it right. Being a prototype sounds weird and amusing, but spend sometime on what it really means and you might just find it realistic. 

What You Do When Asked About Your Future?

Being asked about our Future

This phase has bugged me a lot honestly. Let's face it, not all of us out there are Einstein's and Newton's to be read about in the newspaper. The society has sure been a pain in the ass with this. Yeah, I didn’t score that well in my 10^th and 12^th grade, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a frigging future. And for some reason, if they somehow find out we haven’t decided anything, they appoint themselves as our career counselors and start choosing our future plans for us. But isn’t that so sweet? Trust me, it isn’t. You sure don’t want people meddling around with your plans. I chose engineering because I knew I had a passion for this. Most of the society members I am talking about chose against letting me go to engineering and suggested various other fields. I see a lot of friends and classmates who take up fields they didn’t want and struggle. There has not been one day where I would say I took this and I regret it. I didn’t let anyone judge me and I proved them wrong by getting through what I love. College is somewhere students expect fun and friends, but don’t do it for the heck of doing it. Choose what you really want and run towards the future you planned for. 

Does Anybody Actually Love Their College?

Hate my college

This I think I would share with almost all teenagers of my generation because I keep noticing people cribbing about their college no matter how good the college is. I do admit that I am one of those cribbers but I have a good standard reason behind it. But face it; we all do know that once it is done we are going to miss college a lot. I spent four years of my life with friends who I am going to miss, teachers who I will think of every time I get praised for something I did. Everybody has their point of view on why they hate their college but I yearn to hear one person I know that says they love their college for what it is. It may be strict, it may be irritating, it may have bad remarks, but it is where you are, and like school, you are not reliving the memories of an undergrad again. I have a couple of friends who study in the best colleges of my state, yet crib about their lives being boring or their need to study too much to keep up with competition, here all I can think of is that these guys are going to be considered one of India’s best students and they have so much excuses as to not work. Precisely, all we need to do is love the place we are in, and love it for what it is. I made my peace with my college and I am going to miss this place a lot and the amazing friends I have made here.

What Is Your Sexual Orientation?

Sexual Orientation

I know this is going to be quite a controversial topic, but a lot of us teens have friends or people we know who have the problem of deciding what orientation they belong to. I am not going to be biased towards any one of them too. Sexual orientation is something that depends on each and every one of you. Do not listen to what the world has to say about you and your orientation. Being straight is normal, but being gay is almost normal too. Not being straight doesn’t make someone harmful. The world is full of hypocrites who frown upon the likes of the LGBTQ community, but I don’t mind saying that we need supporters who help people “come out of the closet” as they say it. I have had the experience of knowing too such people who have either been gay or a bi. And believe me, I did not judge any one of them, instead I told them that they should face their feelings and be open about it. If you know anyone who is having troubles facing such feelings, don’t criticize them or mock them, instead be a humane person and help them face those feelings. I believe that the world doesn’t run on anybody’s rules. It isn’t important that a man and a woman have to be together. Isn’t love a feeling between any two people? Think about it. Open your eyes and widen your horizon. 

People Don't Change, Priorities Do

People Priorities

Most of the readers must have heard the saying, “people don’t change, and priorities do”. I second this saying with all my heart. I don’t think people change at all. Once a crow, is always a crow. But their priorities might change from time to time. You should never let someone show you your importance. Their actions speak for themselves. Long distance friendships and relationships don’t work they say. I think they do unless you are prone to changing your priorities or the other person is. If you are important to someone, no matter how much the distance or the time, you will stay important. If someone says they didn’t have time to talk to you, I say use the chance and get the hell out of there. No one has the time for anyone. If someone is important to you, make time for them.  Setting our priorities straight is a tough one in teenage. If someone is telling you that they need time to work things off with their career or anything personal, I am sure they might be honest about it, but if you are going to wait for them sincerely, atleast see to it that your waiting is worth it. Make sure that the other person is really working towards it. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t deserve enough of you. Remember that you are a unique person and no one else is like you. Love yourself and set your priorities straight.