Wednesday, 8 May 2019

What do you do?

Hi Readers,

Hope you are doing well. Today has been a day where my thoughts have taken over and I can only but write about it to calm me down. I am not going to burden your eyes by making you read such deep thoughts, but only the brief of it would do for today.

I have always invited comments and thoughts from my readers and I would love it if you guys can help me resolve these thoughts that are going on in my head. I have seen that most relationships that start small and are due the long way end because of the lamest reasons. I was wondering how it happens. But what does one do in such situations? How does it start? Is insecurity behind it? Do I being a writer feel insecure about my writing? Of course, I do. Similarly, would I feel obligated to keep asking my partner if they love me to keep feeling secure. Would a joke they make about one of my flaws trigger a snap in my brain to react in a way I would not want to? Maybe, in most cases it sure does. But what do I do to prevent this? I sure have an answer. Love. When you love someone, and feel insecure about it, remember and remind yourself to not worry about how much the other person loves you. You should not stop loving them for as long as you are with them. You fell in love with the other person not because they love you back, but because you know they can make you smile even during your darkest days.

If in case, the relationship does not work out also, at least you can feel content about the fact that you gave it your all. Sometimes, your all is not enough to please someone and you can’t do anything about it. But I would think that letting go off someone should be the last option you choose. Relationships are easy to get into, but tough to maintain. And for the ones who will say, “Oh yes, that’s why we think arrange marriages are better.”, such things happen the most in arrange marriages. So, what do you do? Close your eyes and calmly think about how you can make your partner understand. Call them, ask them what the problem is, tell them you love them and that such small issues do not really matter. Done? Still the issue persists. Let your partner take some time. Let them ponder on this and wait till they come back for you. Self-analysis is always helpful. Ego is a part of every single person in the world. But in such situations, is where we need to learn to let go off our ego. If not, then think about it? Who really loses? Do you, who has given it their all, have loved, have given, have provided, have done so much lose? I don’t think so. Anyone who can’t see the fact that you have loved truly would not let go. And I believe real love stays. Fights happen, they should, since it helps you understand the likes and dislikes of the other person. Harsh reality but an optimistic way of looking at it would be this.

Now for the person who is reading this and is the one arguing. You must be angry, must be disappointed, must be expecting more from your partner, must be wanting to say so much but you think your partner would not understand. Did you try talking to them calmly? Did you try telling them how you feel about the things they do or say? No? It could be worth giving it a shot. When countries can sit down on a table and decide how to end a war, why can’t you as a couple resolve the smallest of things easily? It is your decision to think if you want to come to a resolution, or decide to use this as a weapon for the future which might provide deadly to your relationship.
I have read online that women don’t fight with you, instead they keep count and use it for a bigger fight. Honestly, I have seen men do it too and I genuinely think it is rather stupid. If you have a fight with your loved one any day, or even today when you are reading this article, call them you dumb person, and resolve it. Remind yourself about why you loved them in the first place, and ask yourself if this argument is more important than your love? Is this argument more important than your relationship? If yes, then maybe the love is done for. If no, don’t make the mistake of letting them go. Go, run, grab them and tell them you need them, tell them that the world may hate the things they do, but you don’t. Trust me when I say this, that might be the best thing you say to them.

Hope this article helps your relationship. I am open to more suggestions because I want to hear more from you. You can reach out to me on whatsapp if you have my digits, or email me on:

adicooldude.adithya@gmail.com (Yes, I used to be a cool dude back in school) *love me for my flaws*

Saturday, 12 January 2019

Is it time to let go?


Hello Readers,

Happy New Year to all of you out there.

I hope the start to the year of 2019 has been blissful for you.

This New year, my focus is going to be one thing and that is the topic of my blog post too. Is it time to let go? Is it time to cut down on the sorrow in your life? I know using the word Sorrow here makes it quite vague, but the reason I am using it is because, there are a lot of factors that bring different feelings like hatred, disappointment, loneliness and all this results in sorrow. I have dealt with a lot in the last year. I have lost people I thought were close to me, and have gained haters for reasons that make no sense. But I have always been someone who tries to please the other person, and I went out of my way to make sure that the other person either doesn’t hate me or doesn’t leave my life. But in doing so, I have ended up losing my dignity, and looking weak in front of the other.

Someone once said, to forgive and forget, but recently I realized that when you let someone hurt you multiple times and forgive them, it becomes a habit for them since they now know that they wouldn’t lose you. The feeling of knowing that you are needed is like a drug. Abusing it feels very easy for everyone. I am an affectionate person and I don’t mind showing everyone around me that I need them, but I didn’t know that I was painting a target on me and I was an easy one too. 2018 taught me that I took myself for granted and that is why people took me granted. I reminded myself that I am a nice person. And that one statement changed my life. I cut down on the number of friends I had, slowly and slowly. It helped me gain self-confidence, and it also made me realize that the more number of people we know, it is hard to please everyone.

Always be with someone who would go out of their way to please you, and you should also go out of your way to please them. If it is one sided, then that is your cue to end that toxic relationship. Any relationship, where the effort feels one sided is toxic because one of you is the weaker one. I believe that a relationship (Friendship or Love) is complete, when the roles are equal. So Yes, it is time to let go. Time to let go off anyone or anything that brings the slightest of sorrow in your life. Focus on loving yourself and it will show the world that you are shying away from being alone too. Have friends and lovers, but make sure they need you as much as they do.

I am going to go ahead and call this an exercise. Make a list of people who you genuinely believe would go out of their way to please you, and then you would know the real number of friends you have. If you have a lover, you can use the same exercise. Anyone who is taking an upper hand and making you the weakling in the relationship is not a good partner. The sooner you realize it, the better it is for you. So make 2019 count, and make 2019 the year of Y-O-U!