Is it time to let go?

Hello Readers,

Happy New Year to all of you out there.

I hope the start to the year of 2019 has been blissful for you.

This New year, my focus is going to be one thing and that is the topic of my blog post too. Is it time to let go? Is it time to cut down on the sorrow in your life? I know using the word Sorrow here makes it quite vague, but the reason I am using it is because, there are a lot of factors that bring different feelings like hatred, disappointment, loneliness and all this results in sorrow. I have dealt with a lot in the last year. I have lost people I thought were close to me, and have gained haters for reasons that make no sense. But I have always been someone who tries to please the other person, and I went out of my way to make sure that the other person either doesn’t hate me or doesn’t leave my life. But in doing so, I have ended up losing my dignity, and looking weak in front of the other.

Someone once said, to forgive and forget, but recently I realized that when you let someone hurt you multiple times and forgive them, it becomes a habit for them since they now know that they wouldn’t lose you. The feeling of knowing that you are needed is like a drug. Abusing it feels very easy for everyone. I am an affectionate person and I don’t mind showing everyone around me that I need them, but I didn’t know that I was painting a target on me and I was an easy one too. 2018 taught me that I took myself for granted and that is why people took me granted. I reminded myself that I am a nice person. And that one statement changed my life. I cut down on the number of friends I had, slowly and slowly. It helped me gain self-confidence, and it also made me realize that the more number of people we know, it is hard to please everyone.

Always be with someone who would go out of their way to please you, and you should also go out of your way to please them. If it is one sided, then that is your cue to end that toxic relationship. Any relationship, where the effort feels one sided is toxic because one of you is the weaker one. I believe that a relationship (Friendship or Love) is complete, when the roles are equal. So Yes, it is time to let go. Time to let go off anyone or anything that brings the slightest of sorrow in your life. Focus on loving yourself and it will show the world that you are shying away from being alone too. Have friends and lovers, but make sure they need you as much as they do.

I am going to go ahead and call this an exercise. Make a list of people who you genuinely believe would go out of their way to please you, and then you would know the real number of friends you have. If you have a lover, you can use the same exercise. Anyone who is taking an upper hand and making you the weakling in the relationship is not a good partner. The sooner you realize it, the better it is for you. So make 2019 count, and make 2019 the year of Y-O-U!

The Perfect Partner

Hey Readers,

How are you doing? I am back with a very interesting topic (for some of you!) that I believe you might want to read. Few hours back, I spoke to a few people asking them how they would describe their perfect boyfriend/girlfriend. I got many different answers. Some extremely unique and some that most people look for. But one thing I noticed was everyone wanted loyalty. Kudos to that!

This experiment that I conducted for my “Research” was mainly to write this blog post. Now for anyone who is reading this, and I did not ask them, please stop reading right here and think of a few points that would contribute to your idea on the perfect girl/boyfriend. Go ahead. Do not think for a second that you do not know the answer to that. Everyone wants a partner in their life and you are not normal, if you cannot define what you look for in a person you would eventually want to marry.

Okay, now that you have thought about those points, let me tell you something. I am again dividing this into two group of readers. One who have experience in their past with relationships and the other who don’t (Fast forward to the next paragraph). For the ones who have had an experience, when you were plotting your points for the Ideal Partner, you must be thinking about someone in your head, when you said all those points. If you were negatively impacted by the person in a relationship, hit them a text or a call thanking them for making you realize what you wanted from your partner, because they have practically helped you. And if you were positively impacted by that person, and still they match the description you have, hit them a text or call them, do not hesitate when I say this, because love is a feeling, but a relationship does not work, unless you believe that they are right for you. If even for a second you thought of this person when you were describing your ideal partner, hold on to them. Do not let them go. Once bitten, twice shy.

For the readers, who do not have any experience in their past with relationship, you have set goals about what you look for in a person. Yes, I am calling them goals, because it is not easy to find love, not in the way our life works right now. But my recommendation would be to find someone who not only matches these points, but also someone who you genuinely believe is right for you. Chase the relationship, not the spark, because the spark is short lived, and you are left with the relationship. But if you chase the relationship, the spark can be kindled anytime you want. A lot of people make the grave mistake of chasing the spark and ultimately falling in a trap called their so-called relationship. You have your list of wants prepared. Just make sure, when you do meet someone who checks at least 90% of your list, you are going to try hard to make it work. This isn’t the movies, where the world unites you. You live in a country where it isn’t easy to maintain a relationship. So, try hard and don’t let go easy, because that is what counts. 

And there is more from where that came from. Stay tuned Folks :)

Motivation Required

Motivation can play a big role at times in a person's life. How you might all know. But little do people realize that even a small compliment can go a long way. Let us look at a small example. I was at a point in my life where I almost thought I had no friends. It is all because I was ridiculed at the way I lived my life by my friends and none of them showed up when I actually needed them. I was in my teens and I did not realize that what I was doing wrong. But it didn’t feel nice to be in that situation. All I wanted was to sleep and never wake up. Or maybe walk up to a hill and scream my lungs out. I had almost given up when I got a text from a long lost friend who I had not talked to for a long span of time. She asked me how I was and without thinking twice I broke down and told her how I felt because I literally wanted someone to let me pour my heart out to them. She was a good listener, she let me say everything I had to and then gave me a piece of advice that I will always remember. She told me that it shouldn’t matter to me what the world thinks. People talk shit about celebrities and if someone is actually spending time to talk about me, I should instead feel happy and feel like a celebrity. That one small piece of advice changed my attitude towards everything. It wasn’t really a compliment but it made me realize that it didn’t make any changes to who I was that someone was talking ill about me. I don’t talk to her now but she left a little piece of her in the form of a motivation to me. So if you ever think someone is sad or depressed because of something happening in their life. Go ahead and put yourself in their shoes and think of how you would handle that situation better and without any hesitation, help that person. Who knows, maybe you leave a part of your life with them too. 

Choosing a Career Path

Choosing A Career Path

One of the biggest problems for teenagers is to choose a career path. I know a lot of teenagers have a career in mind, but trust 90% teenagers do not follow the path they had in mind. I grew up wanting to be a chef, yeah I know it sounds different but I am proud of it. But sadly I didn't pursue it. Why? Well, because of the given few reasons,
1. Peer Pressure of Not Screwing Up with a bad decision.
2. Society manipulations.
3. Having a role model in a different field.
I don't regret choosing the path I am on now. But there have been days when I feel like I would have done better being in hotel management. Teens out there, it is pretty simple that we don't always get what we want. But I have seen people taking bad decisions and taking bad career paths, but they make the best out of it. That is because we have to live with what we chose. We can never blame someone else for what we chose. We are not robots who can say that they were controlled by their master. Some of us might say that our parents are to blame, but I do not count that in too. Parents ultimately are on our side, if we know what we are choosing. I am not encouraging teens to choose very stupid paths and ruin your lives but choose sensibly and be happy in field that you are. And you will ultimate love being in it. It will bring the best out in you.

Confrontations are TOUGH!

Confrontation

Phase I know not a lot of us have the guts to confront somebody when we need it, the basic scenarios where we need this phase is,

1. You are dumping someone.

2. You found out your bf/gf is cheating on you.

3. You screwed up with something.

Situations like these tend to get us all flustered when they happen in reality. I am going to give you a small guide on how to face these situations. Not that I am an expert with this, but all you got to do is jot down what you are going to say, never deviate from what you want and why you want to do it, and most important, realize that in the end, your happiness is what matters. Trust me, this little fact has got me past a lot of confrontations. No person is as important as forcing yourself to be part of something you are not happy with. You want to know why? It's because if you are committed to something happily, that is somehow doomed to end someday, but making it early will ease the effect. A thought to dwell upon. Ain't it?

Can Love Be Re-Kindled?

Re-kindle love

Love is not something that is bought. It is something you feel towards someone. Can’t that happen twice? Sure it can. Not twice, not thrice but many times. I know Indians generally are easily attached to a person. It is hard to going from being someone’s center to being ignored by that person. It is hard to think that you loved someone and this is what you get in return. But that doesn’t mean you stop yourself from feeling that love again for someone else. Each person is different and cannot be judged with their cover and so cant we. Being reserved and narrow with how you are treating people ahead will in turn affect you and not the one who you lost. Rekindling love is pretty tough, but being able to trust someone again will help you regain self confidence. Won’t it? Don’t give up on your feelings so quickly. Don’t give up on yourself too. Trust your instincts and even if they are wrong, don’t break down. Instead stand tall because someone is going to be the lucky person. Love yourself and you will see people loving you for it.

I am going through something like this. I chose to write about this phase because someone I know fell for the wrong person. They got cheated on. But I was pretty clear when I spoke to him/her that it happened for one and only one reason; for him/her to grow and understand people better, and not for him/her to be gloomy all day and ruin their happiness because of one such prick. Love is eternal, but relationships aren’t. Don’t treat them as one and you will understand the physics behind it.  

Concept of Prototyping In Life

Prototype

This might be a vague topic but what lies beneath it is what I am trying to tell you, readers. A prototype is a work model that is used as a demo for checking if it can be made as the original. Our goal as a teenager must be very clear. Once that is done, making ourselves the prototype of who we want to be in the future will help us achieve that goal very easily. The only reason that I am saying this is because being prepared has helped me a lot lately. And I regret not doing it in the past. I wasn’t prepared to face what I would go through when I was in my teens. Being able to look at yourself in the future will in turn help you visualize things better and give you assistance in decision making related to your life. Try and it you might just make things right soon. It’s never too late. I realized what i was doing wrong in a stage where i could not do anything and later faltered because of it. But now i prepare myself for what is going to happen and I make sure I do it right. Being a prototype sounds weird and amusing, but spend sometime on what it really means and you might just find it realistic. 

What You Do When Asked About Your Future?

Being asked about our Future

This phase has bugged me a lot honestly. Let's face it, not all of us out there are Einstein's and Newton's to be read about in the newspaper. The society has sure been a pain in the ass with this. Yeah, I didn’t score that well in my 10^th and 12^th grade, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a frigging future. And for some reason, if they somehow find out we haven’t decided anything, they appoint themselves as our career counselors and start choosing our future plans for us. But isn’t that so sweet? Trust me, it isn’t. You sure don’t want people meddling around with your plans. I chose engineering because I knew I had a passion for this. Most of the society members I am talking about chose against letting me go to engineering and suggested various other fields. I see a lot of friends and classmates who take up fields they didn’t want and struggle. There has not been one day where I would say I took this and I regret it. I didn’t let anyone judge me and I proved them wrong by getting through what I love. College is somewhere students expect fun and friends, but don’t do it for the heck of doing it. Choose what you really want and run towards the future you planned for.