What do you do?

Hi Readers,

Hope you are doing well. Today has been a day where my thoughts have taken over and I can only but write about it to calm me down. I am not going to burden your eyes by making you read such deep thoughts, but only the brief of it would do for today.

I have always invited comments and thoughts from my readers and I would love it if you guys can help me resolve these thoughts that are going on in my head. I have seen that most relationships that start small and are due the long way end because of the lamest reasons. I was wondering how it happens. But what does one do in such situations? How does it start? Is insecurity behind it? Do I being a writer feel insecure about my writing? Of course, I do. Similarly, would I feel obligated to keep asking my partner if they love me to keep feeling secure. Would a joke they make about one of my flaws trigger a snap in my brain to react in a way I would not want to? Maybe, in most cases it sure does. But what do I do to prevent this? I sure have an answer. Love. When you love someone, and feel insecure about it, remember and remind yourself to not worry about how much the other person loves you. You should not stop loving them for as long as you are with them. You fell in love with the other person not because they love you back, but because you know they can make you smile even during your darkest days.

If in case, the relationship does not work out also, at least you can feel content about the fact that you gave it your all. Sometimes, your all is not enough to please someone and you can’t do anything about it. But I would think that letting go off someone should be the last option you choose. Relationships are easy to get into, but tough to maintain. And for the ones who will say, “Oh yes, that’s why we think arrange marriages are better.”, such things happen the most in arrange marriages. So, what do you do? Close your eyes and calmly think about how you can make your partner understand. Call them, ask them what the problem is, tell them you love them and that such small issues do not really matter. Done? Still the issue persists. Let your partner take some time. Let them ponder on this and wait till they come back for you. Self-analysis is always helpful. Ego is a part of every single person in the world. But in such situations, is where we need to learn to let go off our ego. If not, then think about it? Who really loses? Do you, who has given it their all, have loved, have given, have provided, have done so much lose? I don’t think so. Anyone who can’t see the fact that you have loved truly would not let go. And I believe real love stays. Fights happen, they should, since it helps you understand the likes and dislikes of the other person. Harsh reality but an optimistic way of looking at it would be this.

Now for the person who is reading this and is the one arguing. You must be angry, must be disappointed, must be expecting more from your partner, must be wanting to say so much but you think your partner would not understand. Did you try talking to them calmly? Did you try telling them how you feel about the things they do or say? No? It could be worth giving it a shot. When countries can sit down on a table and decide how to end a war, why can’t you as a couple resolve the smallest of things easily? It is your decision to think if you want to come to a resolution, or decide to use this as a weapon for the future which might provide deadly to your relationship.
I have read online that women don’t fight with you, instead they keep count and use it for a bigger fight. Honestly, I have seen men do it too and I genuinely think it is rather stupid. If you have a fight with your loved one any day, or even today when you are reading this article, call them you dumb person, and resolve it. Remind yourself about why you loved them in the first place, and ask yourself if this argument is more important than your love? Is this argument more important than your relationship? If yes, then maybe the love is done for. If no, don’t make the mistake of letting them go. Go, run, grab them and tell them you need them, tell them that the world may hate the things they do, but you don’t. Trust me when I say this, that might be the best thing you say to them.

Hope this article helps your relationship. I am open to more suggestions because I want to hear more from you. You can reach out to me on whatsapp if you have my digits, or email me on:

adicooldude.adithya@gmail.com (Yes, I used to be a cool dude back in school) *love me for my flaws*

Friend Zone (Been There, Felt that)

Hey Readers,

This topic is very close to my heart, because I have been through this, and I am certainly not proud of it. But I feel that most guys and surprisingly girls too go through this phase of being Friend Zoned. No, it is not a great feeling when you are told, that you are nothing more than a friend. Let me tell you a short story to depict how it feels.

I love you but only as a friend. Ever heard this? Ever said this? Well, if you have heard it, I feel sorry for you and if you have said this, Hello Losers, yes, you are the real losers and not the people in the Friendzone. This article is for you all to realize how it really feels and what kind of idiots you people are.

So a boy I knew was friends with a classmate of his. They had an instant connection that both of them did not notice when it happened. But, neither took a step towards love, and they were good friends. They talked to eachother all day, they would steal glances of eachother in class, when they walked in the hallway and when they would see eachother on the way to school too. Immaturity got the best of them, because either was not understanding that what this was meant to be. Sooner or later, the guy became mature and realized that this friendship was something more. It felt right, not just because they knew eachother so well, but because, the bond they had would be enough for a lifetime. He decided to talk to the girl about what he felt. This was not something special, but rather casual since that's how their conversations were. The level of comfort the two had was more than any couple could have. He told her he had been thinking about this and wanted to know if she felt the same way too. Now, was this true that the next two minutes of his life would be recorded and played by his heart again and again? Yes. It was. The girl blatantly just replied that she was just not into him. She had only seen him as a friend. She loved him, but she didn't love him (Whatever that meant).

He could not just give up on a sure thing, right? I always felt that they were meant for eachother. They would fight, argue, swear at eachother, but would never let go off each other for any reason in that case. I was surprised myself with the girl's reaction. I might sound like a stereotype now, but I have had girl friends call me and let go off tears because all they have wanted is something serious or a commitment, and all they got was heartbreaks and betrayal. But why is it that when they do get it, they choose to run away from it? The spark is missing? Agreed that the spark is missing, but do you really think any relationship you are going to have is bound to have the spark always? Are you looking for a spark? Think about how it feels when you meet this friend. Think about the times you have spent laughing with them, think about the times they have had your back when you needed them. If reliability, trust and love is not what sparks you, I don't know what will. If it's lust you are looking for, go ahead and let go off your friend because they honestly deserve someone better.

I am all in for a relationship where there is understanding, where you know no matter what, you can handle being tortured and irritated by someone, yet would not be able to find a replacement for them. That's who you should realize is what you are looking for.

The next flaw, I think I have found in most people these days, is calling your friend a perfect package. No, do not do that. That brings their hopes up and you know who they would want to date the very next minute? You. Any person who thinks you are perfect is going to be someone you would want to be with. It is not going to help if you tell someone, that their girlfriend/boyfriend is one lucky person, or they would be the perfect girlfriend/boyfriend and then tell them, that it is not going to be you they can be with. You are not just playing with their emotions, but you are going to bring wrath onto yourself, by saying things like that and bringing drama into the relationship.

A friendship like that is different from a relationship in only one way, which is that it is not platonic. Someone once told me, if you think you have found a friend for life, you have found a person who you genuinely love, who you think is as crazy as you. Now, would you want to spend your life with someone you think can understand you at a level, no one else can, or would you want to spend your life with someone you needs the rest of the lifetime figuring you out and tries to make you happy with superficial things? God bless you if you want the latter.

Find love in people you have a lot in common with. Be bold in making your decisions. Before you friendzone someone, just think about how it might affect your friendship with them. Let me tell you something first hand, if one person in a friendship has feelings for the other, the whole concept of a friendship between them is flawed. They are going to do all the things they can to please you, while you enjoy it, and then you are going to find someone else, date them, break up with them, and come back to this very friend of yours when you need a shoulder to cry on. Do you want to that person? Think about it. I can wait.

Thought about it? Good. Hope you are taking the right decision. Last, but not the least, please don't talk like someone who has principles where once a friend is always a friend. Only if you have feelings for someone the minute you meet them, you can date them. Don't be that person. It is not going to help you in the long run. Maybe if you are looking for an arranged marriage, this option looks solid, but even then, I would want you to get to know the person. Attraction is good, but at the expense of having to deal with loads of unwanted drama for the rest of your life? No. Find someone you are compatible with, and lead a comfortable, stress free relationship.

Kudos :)

Texting Your Crush

Hi Readers,

Been a while since I posted something. I have missed writing. Been a tough time with life. Ups and downs like everyone goes through. But the good news is, I have been kicked around before, and I have always come back stronger, and this time is no different. I feel like a different, better person. Thanks to maybe AR Rahman, for coming up with the song “Kun Faya Kun” which has always made me relieved during my darkest days. Happy birthday Maestro!

 

Today I am going to write about something that I did come across recently. Texting your Crush.

The minute someone brings this topic, it hits us like a nostalgia pill. Everyone by now must have had their first conversation with their crush. If someone has not yet got the chance, hang in there, buddy. Everyone has their day and you might just have it soon.

Texting your crush can have multiple effects on your life, because it is like a black box, where you have no clue of what input you give, and what the output might be. It can boost your confidence if it ends on a positive, or get you to a phase of self loathe if it goes downhill. My first advice would be to not send random desperate messages on Instagram or Facebook. If you do think, someone is handsome/pretty, just say hi, introduce yourself and present yourself through one message. Never say that you want someone to be their friend. And if you are doing this to a total stranger, think twice before doing it, only because, not everyone likes meeting strangers on social media, especially strangers who blurt out stuff like ‘I want to be your friend’, or ‘I think I am in love with you’. Type in your message and put yourself in their shoes and read the same message, I know, sounds crazy, so don’t do it. It’s a tough world out there. By doing this, you will seem like a lesser creep that someone might think that you are (No offense)! I did get to text a junior of mine who used to be my crush back in school. I didn’t have any idea of what she liked, what she did, or where she was. I did see her around in school and would find any chance of seeing her maybe in the corridor or out on the school ground. But never did I get to talk to her, neither did she ever try (Clearly way out of my league), so trust me, I have been there, and I have done that. But now, I have realised there are no pick-up lines, just one, say Hi and introduce yourself. Everyone likes a person with who they can have a conversation, and not just everything else (pun intended). I somehow picked up the courage of texting her, getting to know a little about her, and that way, a crush can slowly get serious. But unfortunately, the more I got to know her, I realised that the feelings I had for her, were again just an infatuation (Teenage hitting me hard!). I ended up just talking to her every now and then, just saying hi and bye. But the bright side was, my first conversation with a long-time crush went well. 

I hope you guys don’t hesitate to talk to your crush, but also at the same time, work on trying to look less scary! Kudos!

Feeling Lost

There are going to be moments in life, where you are going to question your existence. If you haven't face them yet, good for you. But be assured that it is normal to feel that way. I have always wondered why I was brought to the world, and what my purpose in life was. These questions loom in my head mainly when I am confused about what I want to become in life and if my decision will have any consequences. It was something I couldn't really talk to anyone about and had to clear my head myself. But soon enough, I realized that it was just fear of failing that I was having these thoughts. One thing that we need to understand is that, unless we are confident about the decisions we make and fulfill them with all our hearts, we are never going to fail. But if for a second also, you think that you are doing something just because someone pushed you to it, or because someone wanted for you to be that person, you will succeed but the probability of failing increases. You need to be happy about the work that you are going to do in the future. Do not attempt to do anything that might not bring the best out of you. Love who you are and you will stop feeling lost. Learn to go across such thoughts and don't let anything hold you back. Know that you are the best at being yourself.

Teen Relationship Drama

Been a while since I wrote something. I have been seeing a lot of breakups lately, mainly because of one key reason, Parents. Well, I am sure our parents mean the world to us but, get a grip you guys. They are not going to have to spend a lifetime with someone. It is high time, people realize that. There are two simple ways of having a relationship with someone, one where you know there is no future and you both are open to having fun for sometime and two, where you both want a future and are ready to face any obstacle together. But if a relationships goes to a new scenario, well that's your cue to fleeing the scene. Every once in a while, I get emotional and think that having fun with someone in a relationships means that we can have a good future together, but up until she is in it too, I can come off too strong and look like a serious maniac. It is all about knowing where you are and who you are, what you want to be and who you want to be with. Teenagers think they know who their parents would choose, sometimes we cite caste as an issue, sometimes it is the career of the other person, etc. But ultimately, trust me it all comes down to the person who is citing these reasons. If someone really wants to be with you, they will. Key note to remember, it is rather better to end things with someone rather than keeping them hanging to you. Yeah, maybe someone likes a bit of attention of being someone's center, but once the other person realizes that, you could come off as a real bad person and trust me, every little thing you do has a consequence, quoting the Butterfly effect. Think about it, as this is something to dwell upon. It is easy for anyone being a dumper, but what goes around comes around, and someday when you are the dumped one, you might regret having to go through it. Love is just a word, with the way it is used these days. Neither does it have meaning, nor does it invoke a special feeling. Yes, things have changed. 

Choosing a Career Path

Choosing A Career Path

One of the biggest problems for teenagers is to choose a career path. I know a lot of teenagers have a career in mind, but trust 90% teenagers do not follow the path they had in mind. I grew up wanting to be a chef, yeah I know it sounds different but I am proud of it. But sadly I didn't pursue it. Why? Well, because of the given few reasons,
1. Peer Pressure of Not Screwing Up with a bad decision.
2. Society manipulations.
3. Having a role model in a different field.
I don't regret choosing the path I am on now. But there have been days when I feel like I would have done better being in hotel management. Teens out there, it is pretty simple that we don't always get what we want. But I have seen people taking bad decisions and taking bad career paths, but they make the best out of it. That is because we have to live with what we chose. We can never blame someone else for what we chose. We are not robots who can say that they were controlled by their master. Some of us might say that our parents are to blame, but I do not count that in too. Parents ultimately are on our side, if we know what we are choosing. I am not encouraging teens to choose very stupid paths and ruin your lives but choose sensibly and be happy in field that you are. And you will ultimate love being in it. It will bring the best out in you.

Doing Something Crazy With Friends

DOING SOMETHING CRAZY

At some point of teenage everyone be it a girl or a guy, wants to be part of a different experience. In my case, I wanted to experience all natural disasters. For now, I have crossed off earthquake and floods. I know it sounds weird, but I am sure everyone out there has some inner desire that others find weird. I speak for all guys and girls here, because I have heard too many people say they want to do something offbeat that gives them a bag full of memories and something they can think of and smile given the guts they had to do it. But trust me, this rush that we have can lead us to trouble too. I chose to write about this phase because of what I went through. My friends and I decided to go on a trek to a place called Kurangani, and like you all even I was puzzled about what this place was. It is some hill off Bodi in Tamilnadu. Anyways, we didn't know shit about this place, yet we decided to not hire a guide given our cold pockets, and started climbing the hill ourselves. Let me add just one point, it was our first trek and we weren't equipped with water and food like we thought. We didn't know the way, so all we did was keep walking for five hours straight until we fell down to our knees and saw the sun starting to set. This was hard for us and a little scary too. I don't want to sound timid but that area was known for it's elephants. I still consider that a miracle seeing a mountain vehicle come our way only to help us come back downhill. But this was a lesson for us. This rush that we had to be controlled and planned out properly. So word of advice, follow your heart but let your mind handle the steering on it. You might end up getting the bag of memories you wanted. Cheerio!

What You Do When Asked About Your Future?

Being asked about our Future

This phase has bugged me a lot honestly. Let's face it, not all of us out there are Einstein's and Newton's to be read about in the newspaper. The society has sure been a pain in the ass with this. Yeah, I didn’t score that well in my 10^th and 12^th grade, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a frigging future. And for some reason, if they somehow find out we haven’t decided anything, they appoint themselves as our career counselors and start choosing our future plans for us. But isn’t that so sweet? Trust me, it isn’t. You sure don’t want people meddling around with your plans. I chose engineering because I knew I had a passion for this. Most of the society members I am talking about chose against letting me go to engineering and suggested various other fields. I see a lot of friends and classmates who take up fields they didn’t want and struggle. There has not been one day where I would say I took this and I regret it. I didn’t let anyone judge me and I proved them wrong by getting through what I love. College is somewhere students expect fun and friends, but don’t do it for the heck of doing it. Choose what you really want and run towards the future you planned for. 

Does Anybody Actually Love Their College?

Hate my college

This I think I would share with almost all teenagers of my generation because I keep noticing people cribbing about their college no matter how good the college is. I do admit that I am one of those cribbers but I have a good standard reason behind it. But face it; we all do know that once it is done we are going to miss college a lot. I spent four years of my life with friends who I am going to miss, teachers who I will think of every time I get praised for something I did. Everybody has their point of view on why they hate their college but I yearn to hear one person I know that says they love their college for what it is. It may be strict, it may be irritating, it may have bad remarks, but it is where you are, and like school, you are not reliving the memories of an undergrad again. I have a couple of friends who study in the best colleges of my state, yet crib about their lives being boring or their need to study too much to keep up with competition, here all I can think of is that these guys are going to be considered one of India’s best students and they have so much excuses as to not work. Precisely, all we need to do is love the place we are in, and love it for what it is. I made my peace with my college and I am going to miss this place a lot and the amazing friends I have made here.