What I learnt about the People in my Country in the Past One Year

Hey Readers.

Been a while since I let out my feelings, and in that period, I have learnt so much and grown quite a lot. Not just physically (My cute tummy) but a lot mentally. I had to take some life changing decisions. I had to get rid of a lot of stress that I was facing, and I had to basically believe in myself for me to go forward.

This article is a little heartfelt and in a lot of ways, stuff I went through in the last couple of months. I met a lot of friends, spoke to a lot of inspirational people and they helped me look at my life in a way I missed out on. A disclaimer before we go ahead, this is not for the narrow minded folks, so if you think you are one of them and won't be able to tolerate my complaints, don't hesitate and close your browser.

The circle of life as they call it, can sometimes be baffling. I am advocating the whole “what goes around comes around”. We get what we deserve because of the things we did in our past. Personally, I screwed up a lot in the past and I get the reward for being an ass from time to time. I have no shame in accepting that I was one but changing over a new leaf is something I genuinely believe in. I have been on a quest of making things right from my past and so far, it has helped me take off the stress in my life. But in doing so, I learnt a lot about our country and how society has affected us and our decision making. I truly felt disgusted with the way we, the society are failing ourselves. I thought to myself that I would love to write about this and see if people could relate to what I felt.

A friend of mine who is in her 30’s wanted to be an independent woman as she grew up. I commend her dedication towards her career and I was in the impression, that someone like her who is so mature and dedicated would be a catch for men, but instead she is ridiculed in the society for her age and not being married. I am perplexed as to why a woman who chooses to marry late is considered a woman with issues, where as a man who wants to marry late is commended since he cares about getting stable financially or to stabilize his career.

A friend of mine who loved this girl, truly wished to get married to her. He loved her more than anything in the world and decided that she is the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Hard find right? But guess what, she dumped him for she didn’t think her parents would agree to her getting married to a guy who doesn’t have a financial background as good as them. The guy promised the girl that he would get strong financially and all he needed was time. She promised him the time he needed but ended up dumping him later. I didn’t think the girl was to blame completely, but in our country, parents don’t really care about how well or stable a guy can be, but how much property or what not, his parents or him own. Well, to anyone who has that kind off mentality, all I can say is Sayonara Sweetheart.

I think as the new generation, we owe it to our parents to teach them everything that they did wrong in the name of tradition instead of wanting to follow anything that they said. I have seen people rebel in front of the world, but again, when it came to their parents, they would just dial down. I know we ought to love our parents (no choice there!) but I would at the least argue with them to help them realize that just because something is a tradition, it doesn’t need to be right.

A very close friend was a victim of the above. He sucked at Mathematics, but his father was hell bent on wanting him to get a bank job (This is a different topic altogether, the weird obsession in our country for bank jobs). He was forced to take up bank exams and failed every time. He just could not muster the courage to talk to his dad and tell him, he wanted a different choice of career. He spent 2 to 3 years doing it and finally regretted his decision because he had wasted a lot of time in something he just could not do. I don’t mean to insult him, not everybody is cut out for jobs like these. That’s why we have got so many professions in the world where we can showcase what we are good at.

The last one, I have for starters, a friend of mine told me a story that gave me chills. I know we live in a country where believe it or not, caste and religion play a big role in marriages. No surprise there, but, here comes the bomb. I got to know about a few families who apparently don’t even relate themselves to other caste or religion folks as friends and restrict their kids from mingling with people who don’t belong to their “community”. I seriously hope never to get involved with such people because the reason our so called “secular” country is going to ruins is all thanks to them. Parents, relatives and society would not mind us getting married to some well settled guy from their caste but not to someone who can keep us happy and feel loved. They would rather want us to “work” on an abusive relationship but not want us to get divorced and feel free.

High time that we as a generation work towards stuff like this. Don’t say that your kids will be free to choose. You need to choose. You need to be free. Grow up mentally and talk to me if you think you can relate to what is above.

We are one as a country, but we need to be one as a community.

The Perfect Partner

Hey Readers,

How are you doing? I am back with a very interesting topic (for some of you!) that I believe you might want to read. Few hours back, I spoke to a few people asking them how they would describe their perfect boyfriend/girlfriend. I got many different answers. Some extremely unique and some that most people look for. But one thing I noticed was everyone wanted loyalty. Kudos to that!

This experiment that I conducted for my “Research” was mainly to write this blog post. Now for anyone who is reading this, and I did not ask them, please stop reading right here and think of a few points that would contribute to your idea on the perfect girl/boyfriend. Go ahead. Do not think for a second that you do not know the answer to that. Everyone wants a partner in their life and you are not normal, if you cannot define what you look for in a person you would eventually want to marry.

Okay, now that you have thought about those points, let me tell you something. I am again dividing this into two group of readers. One who have experience in their past with relationships and the other who don’t (Fast forward to the next paragraph). For the ones who have had an experience, when you were plotting your points for the Ideal Partner, you must be thinking about someone in your head, when you said all those points. If you were negatively impacted by the person in a relationship, hit them a text or a call thanking them for making you realize what you wanted from your partner, because they have practically helped you. And if you were positively impacted by that person, and still they match the description you have, hit them a text or call them, do not hesitate when I say this, because love is a feeling, but a relationship does not work, unless you believe that they are right for you. If even for a second you thought of this person when you were describing your ideal partner, hold on to them. Do not let them go. Once bitten, twice shy.

For the readers, who do not have any experience in their past with relationship, you have set goals about what you look for in a person. Yes, I am calling them goals, because it is not easy to find love, not in the way our life works right now. But my recommendation would be to find someone who not only matches these points, but also someone who you genuinely believe is right for you. Chase the relationship, not the spark, because the spark is short lived, and you are left with the relationship. But if you chase the relationship, the spark can be kindled anytime you want. A lot of people make the grave mistake of chasing the spark and ultimately falling in a trap called their so-called relationship. You have your list of wants prepared. Just make sure, when you do meet someone who checks at least 90% of your list, you are going to try hard to make it work. This isn’t the movies, where the world unites you. You live in a country where it isn’t easy to maintain a relationship. So, try hard and don’t let go easy, because that is what counts. 

And there is more from where that came from. Stay tuned Folks :)

Why I think Unconditional Love doesn't Exist

Hey Readers,

Hope you are doing great in life. I have been having some of the best time of my life. I got to say that I have been having downs personally, but all in all, it's been a good ride so far. I have wanted to talk to you about some thoughts I have been having about how I think Unconditional Love like we say, doesn't really exist. Maybe some of you who have been through crap in your life will agree with me at the very first instance, but for the rest, patiently read through the article and you might realize why.

Unconditional Love, according to me is when you do not have any conditions with how you are going to love someone. Us humans, are genetically not capable of creating that emotion. We cannot love someone unconditionally. Alright, some of you might compare the love you have for your parents and say it is unconditional. Well, I am going to say no to that. Parents are two people who will always be dear to us and we will love them, but it is not unconditional. Conditions are presented in your mind by itself, but if the conditions are fulfilled without an argument, you are never going to realize that your love was conditional. Your need to be satisfied is always going to be present. And the day that need is not satisfied, you are going to look for other options. 

Yes, everyone at one point looks for other options only because you want your conditions to be satisfied. The reason most relationships do not work are because we are so stuck up with wanting to be satisfied completely, we let go off people who could have potentially been the best girlfriend/boyfriend. You are going to have some conditions that are left unfulfilled. You are going to be put in situations where you will need to go out of your way and act on someone's condition. It will feel like an unsaid order. But a relationship in the end is all about giving and not expecting in return (Giving and Taking). So if your heart wants you to take a risk for someone, hold on to that person because not a lot of people will give your heart the strength to take a risk. 

Remember one thing carefully guys. When you think you have found someone who is worthy of being the one. Just realize what kind of conditions you have, understand who you are and what you are looking for in your partner, and if there is a situation where your condition is not complete, choose to follow the partner and don't let this condition get the best of your relationship. It is hard to find someone who you connect with in this world now. Follow love and not the condition. Let go off your fears and love will find it's way.

Why I think that being an Agnostic Atheist is the better Option

Hi Readers,

Hope you are all doing well.

I have been going through a lot of criticism considering my views of being an Agnostic Atheist and I thought why shouldn't I properly explain my thought process so that, people can realize what I am trying to say, but before I start. This article is clearly only for the ones who are open to any kind of opinion. If any of you are here, who is very very serious about their religion or not open to listening to any kind of criticism about their religion, please switch to a different article. This one is not your ball game. I am not kidding.

Still Reading? Okay. Firstly, I would like to start by defining what an Agnostic Atheist is for anyone who doesn't know what it means. Agnostic atheism is a philosophical position that encompasses both atheism and agnosticism. Agnostic atheists are atheistic because they do not hold a belief in the existence of any deity and agnostic because they claim that the existence of a deity is either unknowable in principle or currently unknown in fact. I genuinely don't believe in the existence of a deity. I do not believe that once in my lifetime there were gods who fought with each other, who killed evil, who danced or who brought in the art of dance. I believe in the capability of the human mind. I believe that this is all brought up by our mind. We have created this. We have created this to bring about a difference between in the pursuit of trying to be the better or the classy person. We intentionally have tuned ourselves into a society where we want to separate ourselves from the others just because we believe that will make us better than them. Well, I beg to differ because that's not where I belong. I like to think that I am part of a world where everyone is one or the same. I do not like considering that any god is to be prayed to in the form of an idol, a deity or a person. If there is something that you want to look up to for all the times that you are lost, or down or want moral support, turn and look to the person who gave you life, your Parents. If you still think that's not an option, or if you think that our existence is a black box if we do not believe in the concept of god, keep reading forward. 

Our existence is a black box, I agree, but we have all read about the evolution of mankind. Take a step forward and open your minds to thinking practically and logically for once. Do you really believe that some guy or some girl had super powers and they are our gods. Well, why aren't any of those people still here? Oh wait, because the Earth is suddenly become very toxic for them. I have heard such bull crap from so many people all of my life. Do not get confused or do not believe anything just because someone says it's right. I am not kidding. Don't listen to what I have to say to. Think for yourself. Think about the possibilities of every story that you have heard and relate it to the science that you have been learning or seeing all your life. Our human mind likes superiority, our human heart expects attention. Would it be too hard for it to come up with something to make it better than the others? Heck, we came up with zero, that's how we Indians are. I like to think that there is a superpower in this world, not because I think God is there, because I like to look up to someone or something, which keeps me pushing. I do not mind saying Allah, Amen, Jesus, Shiva, Satguru when I am scared, not because I believe in them, because I think that God is not in any form. It is only a superpower and I do not shame myself when I appreciate any other religion. I do not want to believe that any religion is better than the other. If you are one of those people, who think they are the better people, because you follow that religion, well you have a "bright"future ahead, my friend. 

We are in a world of history, art, culture, tradition. I do not want to believe that some God brought all this to the world. I like to believe that our human mind is so powerful that it has brought all this into the world. From being monkeys that was surprised with a spark from the clashing of rocks, to where we are today. We have developed because our brains are so creative. Love who you are because of what you are, not because of the color, religion, race that you are from. And learn to love others for who they are. Do not for one second think that they are below you in any way because of any reason. You do not have any idea of who is struggling in what way in their lives. It is tough in this world, and to believe in God is something that keeps them peaceful. I would never say they are wrong in following God, but to make it your world, and losing precious time is something I would advice against. 

If you think, I am making some sense. Don't follow me blindly. Think about it for sometime. Ponder on it over a walk. Then make your decision.

Until we meet again.