Suicide - Let's Talk About It

Hi Readers,

My hands are trembling as I begin to write this article. The stuff I write today is heartfelt, dark and criticizing the world as we know it. Anyone who is not tolerant enough to take it, please do not read the rest of the article.

I was born in a rich family that saw a lot of poverty soon after my birth due to some losses my dad faced in his business. It was a tough time for the entire family, but we got through it as one. My parents were in debt but somehow managed to get my siblings’ education completed on time for them to take up the responsibility of the family. And they did so in great style.

Gradually, it became evident that the storm in our life had passed and we were in clear waters. But many a time, I have felt that my financial status,-let me rephrase that, my family’s financial status made me an Outcast in a crowd filled with kids having filthy rich parents. The attitude that these kids had, despite being teenagers, was crazy. I tried a lot to be a part of their world, albeit at the expense of torturing my family to get me a bike, a car and what not. I didn’t realize that all of this will not endure for long. In trying to be a part of this, I turned into a monstrous version of myself. Lies, Pride, Ego and Attitude took over me like a leech stuck on us. It overshadowed any good that I would do.

Then 2 years later, I graduated and realized I didn’t have any friends. I had taken my old friends for granted, pissed them off, laughed them out of my life and the new “friends” I thought never really considered me a part of their life. I was just an outsider pretending to be someone in their world. It made me feel very low. I could not go back to the way I was 2 years ago, but I had to find a way forward. I spoke to a few of my old friends and tried to make amends. In short, I tried to turn over a new leaf. Life changed for the good gradually. Although I lost and gained people from time to time, I had stopped caring about it since I had set a goal in my mind and was working towards it. Love, Betrayal, Trust, Friendship were some of the words that were being thrown around so easily as years passed. But one word that was missing from my life was ‘peace’.

I wanted peace. Freedom from the thought that I was feeling left out; freedom from the thought that I was constantly being hated by someone; freedom from the thought I was constantly being judged for who I am; freedom from the thought that I was constantly being stereotyped for where I am from. I wanted to kill myself to find peace. Yes, you read that right. I WANTED TO KILL MYSELF. There have been days when I thought of “popping” a few pills and escape this world. There have been days when I have taken a knife to cut vegetables and felt like stabbing myself with it. There have been days when I have felt like intentionally running into a bus. But I always brought myself back to my senses. I realized that I had people who loved me, and it would not be fair for them if I did something like this. I would find peace, but I would take away theirs. My parents, my friends, my colleagues, anyone who contributed in making me smile would be devastated. But what would I do about this constant feeling of restlessness, this mental stress I had? I had no answer.

No, I am not writing this because of a celebrity committing suicide. No, I am not writing this to gain sympathy from any of you who is reading this. I am writing this because I, too, have lost people to this dreadful affliction. I have seen people cry and wish that they had been there for their loved ones before they committed suicide. And it made me think as to what agents we surround ourselves with that cause mental stress.

Parental pressure of getting married, parental pressure of scoring high marks, society pressuring us into getting married, having kids, scoring more marks, getting a good job, studying abroad. It doesn’t matter who can do what, if they do what we ask them to do. We live in a world where parents clap when we hit a six, call us their little “Sachin”, but discourage us if we want to pursue a sports career like Sachin. We live in a world where parents forbid girls from talking to guys, because they might coerce you and “deflower” you, but they are the same people who will force you to marry someone they pick and ask you to sleep with him and bear a child!!! We live in a world where we loathe people with money because they have an attitude and don’t mingle with us, but we are the same people who ill -treat our maids and watchmen. We live in a world, where a girl is judged with the blood she releases on the night of her wedding, and we live in a world, where social media is a place of more hatred and less love. We live in a world where we hide behind mobile/computer screens and spread hate in the form of comments, likes etc. and we are the same people who wish we can be like the people we shed hatred on. We don’t want our kids to be ridiculed for being dark, but when we search for a groom/bride, we want a “fair” person. Hypocrisy has become the ruler of all problems.

In a world like this, why wouldn’t one want to commit suicide? How much emotional stability do we expect the human mind to have? We care so much about our physical health, but never talk about our mental health. Why? The answer is simple. The minute we need a therapist; we have gone “cuckoo” for the world. For once, realize that anything you say be it on social media, or in person, it affects the other person too. If not physically, it does so mentally. It breaks them down. It eats up their thoughts and pushes them towards depression. Empathy is not a word; it is an emotion. Realize that humanity is more important than anything you have with you. You can have all the money in the world, the best job, the best clothes, but if you are not able to make people around you happy, none of it matters.

I hope everyone will be able to relate to this article, because we live in a world where everyone at some point is an outsider. The feeling of togetherness has left this life of ours. We no longer live in a world that is welcoming. We live in a world where walls, guns and words are the biggest weapon. Yes, I said words. Deal with it.

Be welcoming to anything and anyone. Forget the past, grow up and see that everyone makes mistakes, but they might be doing it because they are troubled. Forgive them and talk to them. Go back to people who left, hold on to them, tell them it is going to be alright. Spread love and notice the change. It begins with you.

With love,

Aditya.

The Perfect Partner

Hey Readers,

How are you doing? I am back with a very interesting topic (for some of you!) that I believe you might want to read. Few hours back, I spoke to a few people asking them how they would describe their perfect boyfriend/girlfriend. I got many different answers. Some extremely unique and some that most people look for. But one thing I noticed was everyone wanted loyalty. Kudos to that!

This experiment that I conducted for my “Research” was mainly to write this blog post. Now for anyone who is reading this, and I did not ask them, please stop reading right here and think of a few points that would contribute to your idea on the perfect girl/boyfriend. Go ahead. Do not think for a second that you do not know the answer to that. Everyone wants a partner in their life and you are not normal, if you cannot define what you look for in a person you would eventually want to marry.

Okay, now that you have thought about those points, let me tell you something. I am again dividing this into two group of readers. One who have experience in their past with relationships and the other who don’t (Fast forward to the next paragraph). For the ones who have had an experience, when you were plotting your points for the Ideal Partner, you must be thinking about someone in your head, when you said all those points. If you were negatively impacted by the person in a relationship, hit them a text or a call thanking them for making you realize what you wanted from your partner, because they have practically helped you. And if you were positively impacted by that person, and still they match the description you have, hit them a text or call them, do not hesitate when I say this, because love is a feeling, but a relationship does not work, unless you believe that they are right for you. If even for a second you thought of this person when you were describing your ideal partner, hold on to them. Do not let them go. Once bitten, twice shy.

For the readers, who do not have any experience in their past with relationship, you have set goals about what you look for in a person. Yes, I am calling them goals, because it is not easy to find love, not in the way our life works right now. But my recommendation would be to find someone who not only matches these points, but also someone who you genuinely believe is right for you. Chase the relationship, not the spark, because the spark is short lived, and you are left with the relationship. But if you chase the relationship, the spark can be kindled anytime you want. A lot of people make the grave mistake of chasing the spark and ultimately falling in a trap called their so-called relationship. You have your list of wants prepared. Just make sure, when you do meet someone who checks at least 90% of your list, you are going to try hard to make it work. This isn’t the movies, where the world unites you. You live in a country where it isn’t easy to maintain a relationship. So, try hard and don’t let go easy, because that is what counts. 

And there is more from where that came from. Stay tuned Folks :)

Feeling Lost

There are going to be moments in life, where you are going to question your existence. If you haven't face them yet, good for you. But be assured that it is normal to feel that way. I have always wondered why I was brought to the world, and what my purpose in life was. These questions loom in my head mainly when I am confused about what I want to become in life and if my decision will have any consequences. It was something I couldn't really talk to anyone about and had to clear my head myself. But soon enough, I realized that it was just fear of failing that I was having these thoughts. One thing that we need to understand is that, unless we are confident about the decisions we make and fulfill them with all our hearts, we are never going to fail. But if for a second also, you think that you are doing something just because someone pushed you to it, or because someone wanted for you to be that person, you will succeed but the probability of failing increases. You need to be happy about the work that you are going to do in the future. Do not attempt to do anything that might not bring the best out of you. Love who you are and you will stop feeling lost. Learn to go across such thoughts and don't let anything hold you back. Know that you are the best at being yourself.

Teen Relationship Drama

Been a while since I wrote something. I have been seeing a lot of breakups lately, mainly because of one key reason, Parents. Well, I am sure our parents mean the world to us but, get a grip you guys. They are not going to have to spend a lifetime with someone. It is high time, people realize that. There are two simple ways of having a relationship with someone, one where you know there is no future and you both are open to having fun for sometime and two, where you both want a future and are ready to face any obstacle together. But if a relationships goes to a new scenario, well that's your cue to fleeing the scene. Every once in a while, I get emotional and think that having fun with someone in a relationships means that we can have a good future together, but up until she is in it too, I can come off too strong and look like a serious maniac. It is all about knowing where you are and who you are, what you want to be and who you want to be with. Teenagers think they know who their parents would choose, sometimes we cite caste as an issue, sometimes it is the career of the other person, etc. But ultimately, trust me it all comes down to the person who is citing these reasons. If someone really wants to be with you, they will. Key note to remember, it is rather better to end things with someone rather than keeping them hanging to you. Yeah, maybe someone likes a bit of attention of being someone's center, but once the other person realizes that, you could come off as a real bad person and trust me, every little thing you do has a consequence, quoting the Butterfly effect. Think about it, as this is something to dwell upon. It is easy for anyone being a dumper, but what goes around comes around, and someday when you are the dumped one, you might regret having to go through it. Love is just a word, with the way it is used these days. Neither does it have meaning, nor does it invoke a special feeling. Yes, things have changed. 

Choosing a Career Path

Choosing A Career Path

One of the biggest problems for teenagers is to choose a career path. I know a lot of teenagers have a career in mind, but trust 90% teenagers do not follow the path they had in mind. I grew up wanting to be a chef, yeah I know it sounds different but I am proud of it. But sadly I didn't pursue it. Why? Well, because of the given few reasons,
1. Peer Pressure of Not Screwing Up with a bad decision.
2. Society manipulations.
3. Having a role model in a different field.
I don't regret choosing the path I am on now. But there have been days when I feel like I would have done better being in hotel management. Teens out there, it is pretty simple that we don't always get what we want. But I have seen people taking bad decisions and taking bad career paths, but they make the best out of it. That is because we have to live with what we chose. We can never blame someone else for what we chose. We are not robots who can say that they were controlled by their master. Some of us might say that our parents are to blame, but I do not count that in too. Parents ultimately are on our side, if we know what we are choosing. I am not encouraging teens to choose very stupid paths and ruin your lives but choose sensibly and be happy in field that you are. And you will ultimate love being in it. It will bring the best out in you.

Can Love Be Re-Kindled?

Re-kindle love

Love is not something that is bought. It is something you feel towards someone. Can’t that happen twice? Sure it can. Not twice, not thrice but many times. I know Indians generally are easily attached to a person. It is hard to going from being someone’s center to being ignored by that person. It is hard to think that you loved someone and this is what you get in return. But that doesn’t mean you stop yourself from feeling that love again for someone else. Each person is different and cannot be judged with their cover and so cant we. Being reserved and narrow with how you are treating people ahead will in turn affect you and not the one who you lost. Rekindling love is pretty tough, but being able to trust someone again will help you regain self confidence. Won’t it? Don’t give up on your feelings so quickly. Don’t give up on yourself too. Trust your instincts and even if they are wrong, don’t break down. Instead stand tall because someone is going to be the lucky person. Love yourself and you will see people loving you for it.

I am going through something like this. I chose to write about this phase because someone I know fell for the wrong person. They got cheated on. But I was pretty clear when I spoke to him/her that it happened for one and only one reason; for him/her to grow and understand people better, and not for him/her to be gloomy all day and ruin their happiness because of one such prick. Love is eternal, but relationships aren’t. Don’t treat them as one and you will understand the physics behind it.  

Concept of Prototyping In Life

Prototype

This might be a vague topic but what lies beneath it is what I am trying to tell you, readers. A prototype is a work model that is used as a demo for checking if it can be made as the original. Our goal as a teenager must be very clear. Once that is done, making ourselves the prototype of who we want to be in the future will help us achieve that goal very easily. The only reason that I am saying this is because being prepared has helped me a lot lately. And I regret not doing it in the past. I wasn’t prepared to face what I would go through when I was in my teens. Being able to look at yourself in the future will in turn help you visualize things better and give you assistance in decision making related to your life. Try and it you might just make things right soon. It’s never too late. I realized what i was doing wrong in a stage where i could not do anything and later faltered because of it. But now i prepare myself for what is going to happen and I make sure I do it right. Being a prototype sounds weird and amusing, but spend sometime on what it really means and you might just find it realistic. 

What You Do When Asked About Your Future?

Being asked about our Future

This phase has bugged me a lot honestly. Let's face it, not all of us out there are Einstein's and Newton's to be read about in the newspaper. The society has sure been a pain in the ass with this. Yeah, I didn’t score that well in my 10^th and 12^th grade, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a frigging future. And for some reason, if they somehow find out we haven’t decided anything, they appoint themselves as our career counselors and start choosing our future plans for us. But isn’t that so sweet? Trust me, it isn’t. You sure don’t want people meddling around with your plans. I chose engineering because I knew I had a passion for this. Most of the society members I am talking about chose against letting me go to engineering and suggested various other fields. I see a lot of friends and classmates who take up fields they didn’t want and struggle. There has not been one day where I would say I took this and I regret it. I didn’t let anyone judge me and I proved them wrong by getting through what I love. College is somewhere students expect fun and friends, but don’t do it for the heck of doing it. Choose what you really want and run towards the future you planned for. 

When You Are The Worst At Something

Being worst at something

One phase that I would like the readers to listen to is this. I always pride myself on being good or at least average at each and every other task. But no matter how hard we try. We are going to suck or be the worst at something. In my case, it was being an athlete. I grew up with a bunch of friends who were the best runners in my school. It sucked to be the only guy in the group who wasn’t fast. It bugged me when I saw those guys getting medals for being the best at what they do. But yeah, they were my friends and I was filled with glee when they performed well. I tried high jump, I tried long jump, and pretty much fell head over heels at both the events. But as I grew up, I realized that they must be feeling the same thing about someone else or about something that they suck at. I am just not an athlete; simple as that. I don’t have to waste my time convincing people to like me for doing something I didn’t want to do at the first place. I am good at certain things, and I would rather spend my time perfecting that.

What Is Your Sexual Orientation?

Sexual Orientation

I know this is going to be quite a controversial topic, but a lot of us teens have friends or people we know who have the problem of deciding what orientation they belong to. I am not going to be biased towards any one of them too. Sexual orientation is something that depends on each and every one of you. Do not listen to what the world has to say about you and your orientation. Being straight is normal, but being gay is almost normal too. Not being straight doesn’t make someone harmful. The world is full of hypocrites who frown upon the likes of the LGBTQ community, but I don’t mind saying that we need supporters who help people “come out of the closet” as they say it. I have had the experience of knowing too such people who have either been gay or a bi. And believe me, I did not judge any one of them, instead I told them that they should face their feelings and be open about it. If you know anyone who is having troubles facing such feelings, don’t criticize them or mock them, instead be a humane person and help them face those feelings. I believe that the world doesn’t run on anybody’s rules. It isn’t important that a man and a woman have to be together. Isn’t love a feeling between any two people? Think about it. Open your eyes and widen your horizon.