Teen Relationship Drama

Been a while since I wrote something. I have been seeing a lot of breakups lately, mainly because of one key reason, Parents. Well, I am sure our parents mean the world to us but, get a grip you guys. They are not going to have to spend a lifetime with someone. It is high time, people realize that. There are two simple ways of having a relationship with someone, one where you know there is no future and you both are open to having fun for sometime and two, where you both want a future and are ready to face any obstacle together. But if a relationships goes to a new scenario, well that's your cue to fleeing the scene. Every once in a while, I get emotional and think that having fun with someone in a relationships means that we can have a good future together, but up until she is in it too, I can come off too strong and look like a serious maniac. It is all about knowing where you are and who you are, what you want to be and who you want to be with. Teenagers think they know who their parents would choose, sometimes we cite caste as an issue, sometimes it is the career of the other person, etc. But ultimately, trust me it all comes down to the person who is citing these reasons. If someone really wants to be with you, they will. Key note to remember, it is rather better to end things with someone rather than keeping them hanging to you. Yeah, maybe someone likes a bit of attention of being someone's center, but once the other person realizes that, you could come off as a real bad person and trust me, every little thing you do has a consequence, quoting the Butterfly effect. Think about it, as this is something to dwell upon. It is easy for anyone being a dumper, but what goes around comes around, and someday when you are the dumped one, you might regret having to go through it. Love is just a word, with the way it is used these days. Neither does it have meaning, nor does it invoke a special feeling. Yes, things have changed. 

Funny Indian Relationships

I am going out of my usual way of writing and putting this one article in the middle of the other posts. I was thinking to myself how funny Indian relationships can get or are. Let's see a few funny acts you see only in Indian Teens.

1. There was a time when we were only allowed 5 normal messages a day. So if you spent even two of those messages for a person, they would automatically know that they are way more important than the others.

2. There used to be a time when mobiles were a rich commodity and back then Nokia had given lover boys a chance to create their own tunes which boys would often use to impress their loved ones.

3. Indian couples have this funny way of showing they love each other. When they cannot talk to each other or send each other a message, all they do is go under the blanket and give each other missed calls. But each of them god knows how understands what the other person is trying to say.

4. For some reason Indian people find time to write their names on any wall they find. Even hills sometimes, are engraved with names of random strangers. If you want to experience something like that, take a long distance train from the south of India to the north. You will definitely see numerous hills with writing and hearts all over them.

5. It isn’t everyday you will see a rocking boat. For some reason, Indians are all for Public Display of Affection (PDA), but in a form that grosses everyone out. I almost witness a rocking boat every time I go to the beach. Find some space people, at least enough to not weird others out. 

Hope this brought back some memories for the Indian readers and new insight about Indian couples for other country folks. 

Motivation Required

Motivation can play a big role at times in a person's life. How you might all know. But little do people realize that even a small compliment can go a long way. Let us look at a small example. I was at a point in my life where I almost thought I had no friends. It is all because I was ridiculed at the way I lived my life by my friends and none of them showed up when I actually needed them. I was in my teens and I did not realize that what I was doing wrong. But it didn’t feel nice to be in that situation. All I wanted was to sleep and never wake up. Or maybe walk up to a hill and scream my lungs out. I had almost given up when I got a text from a long lost friend who I had not talked to for a long span of time. She asked me how I was and without thinking twice I broke down and told her how I felt because I literally wanted someone to let me pour my heart out to them. She was a good listener, she let me say everything I had to and then gave me a piece of advice that I will always remember. She told me that it shouldn’t matter to me what the world thinks. People talk shit about celebrities and if someone is actually spending time to talk about me, I should instead feel happy and feel like a celebrity. That one small piece of advice changed my attitude towards everything. It wasn’t really a compliment but it made me realize that it didn’t make any changes to who I was that someone was talking ill about me. I don’t talk to her now but she left a little piece of her in the form of a motivation to me. So if you ever think someone is sad or depressed because of something happening in their life. Go ahead and put yourself in their shoes and think of how you would handle that situation better and without any hesitation, help that person. Who knows, maybe you leave a part of your life with them too. 

Choosing a Career Path

Choosing A Career Path

One of the biggest problems for teenagers is to choose a career path. I know a lot of teenagers have a career in mind, but trust 90% teenagers do not follow the path they had in mind. I grew up wanting to be a chef, yeah I know it sounds different but I am proud of it. But sadly I didn't pursue it. Why? Well, because of the given few reasons,
1. Peer Pressure of Not Screwing Up with a bad decision.
2. Society manipulations.
3. Having a role model in a different field.
I don't regret choosing the path I am on now. But there have been days when I feel like I would have done better being in hotel management. Teens out there, it is pretty simple that we don't always get what we want. But I have seen people taking bad decisions and taking bad career paths, but they make the best out of it. That is because we have to live with what we chose. We can never blame someone else for what we chose. We are not robots who can say that they were controlled by their master. Some of us might say that our parents are to blame, but I do not count that in too. Parents ultimately are on our side, if we know what we are choosing. I am not encouraging teens to choose very stupid paths and ruin your lives but choose sensibly and be happy in field that you are. And you will ultimate love being in it. It will bring the best out in you.

Doing Something Crazy With Friends

DOING SOMETHING CRAZY

At some point of teenage everyone be it a girl or a guy, wants to be part of a different experience. In my case, I wanted to experience all natural disasters. For now, I have crossed off earthquake and floods. I know it sounds weird, but I am sure everyone out there has some inner desire that others find weird. I speak for all guys and girls here, because I have heard too many people say they want to do something offbeat that gives them a bag full of memories and something they can think of and smile given the guts they had to do it. But trust me, this rush that we have can lead us to trouble too. I chose to write about this phase because of what I went through. My friends and I decided to go on a trek to a place called Kurangani, and like you all even I was puzzled about what this place was. It is some hill off Bodi in Tamilnadu. Anyways, we didn't know shit about this place, yet we decided to not hire a guide given our cold pockets, and started climbing the hill ourselves. Let me add just one point, it was our first trek and we weren't equipped with water and food like we thought. We didn't know the way, so all we did was keep walking for five hours straight until we fell down to our knees and saw the sun starting to set. This was hard for us and a little scary too. I don't want to sound timid but that area was known for it's elephants. I still consider that a miracle seeing a mountain vehicle come our way only to help us come back downhill. But this was a lesson for us. This rush that we had to be controlled and planned out properly. So word of advice, follow your heart but let your mind handle the steering on it. You might end up getting the bag of memories you wanted. Cheerio!

Confrontations are TOUGH!

Confrontation

Phase I know not a lot of us have the guts to confront somebody when we need it, the basic scenarios where we need this phase is,

1. You are dumping someone.

2. You found out your bf/gf is cheating on you.

3. You screwed up with something.

Situations like these tend to get us all flustered when they happen in reality. I am going to give you a small guide on how to face these situations. Not that I am an expert with this, but all you got to do is jot down what you are going to say, never deviate from what you want and why you want to do it, and most important, realize that in the end, your happiness is what matters. Trust me, this little fact has got me past a lot of confrontations. No person is as important as forcing yourself to be part of something you are not happy with. You want to know why? It's because if you are committed to something happily, that is somehow doomed to end someday, but making it early will ease the effect. A thought to dwell upon. Ain't it?

Can Love Be Re-Kindled?

Re-kindle love

Love is not something that is bought. It is something you feel towards someone. Can’t that happen twice? Sure it can. Not twice, not thrice but many times. I know Indians generally are easily attached to a person. It is hard to going from being someone’s center to being ignored by that person. It is hard to think that you loved someone and this is what you get in return. But that doesn’t mean you stop yourself from feeling that love again for someone else. Each person is different and cannot be judged with their cover and so cant we. Being reserved and narrow with how you are treating people ahead will in turn affect you and not the one who you lost. Rekindling love is pretty tough, but being able to trust someone again will help you regain self confidence. Won’t it? Don’t give up on your feelings so quickly. Don’t give up on yourself too. Trust your instincts and even if they are wrong, don’t break down. Instead stand tall because someone is going to be the lucky person. Love yourself and you will see people loving you for it.

I am going through something like this. I chose to write about this phase because someone I know fell for the wrong person. They got cheated on. But I was pretty clear when I spoke to him/her that it happened for one and only one reason; for him/her to grow and understand people better, and not for him/her to be gloomy all day and ruin their happiness because of one such prick. Love is eternal, but relationships aren’t. Don’t treat them as one and you will understand the physics behind it.  

Concept of Prototyping In Life

Prototype

This might be a vague topic but what lies beneath it is what I am trying to tell you, readers. A prototype is a work model that is used as a demo for checking if it can be made as the original. Our goal as a teenager must be very clear. Once that is done, making ourselves the prototype of who we want to be in the future will help us achieve that goal very easily. The only reason that I am saying this is because being prepared has helped me a lot lately. And I regret not doing it in the past. I wasn’t prepared to face what I would go through when I was in my teens. Being able to look at yourself in the future will in turn help you visualize things better and give you assistance in decision making related to your life. Try and it you might just make things right soon. It’s never too late. I realized what i was doing wrong in a stage where i could not do anything and later faltered because of it. But now i prepare myself for what is going to happen and I make sure I do it right. Being a prototype sounds weird and amusing, but spend sometime on what it really means and you might just find it realistic. 

What You Do When Asked About Your Future?

Being asked about our Future

This phase has bugged me a lot honestly. Let's face it, not all of us out there are Einstein's and Newton's to be read about in the newspaper. The society has sure been a pain in the ass with this. Yeah, I didn’t score that well in my 10^th and 12^th grade, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a frigging future. And for some reason, if they somehow find out we haven’t decided anything, they appoint themselves as our career counselors and start choosing our future plans for us. But isn’t that so sweet? Trust me, it isn’t. You sure don’t want people meddling around with your plans. I chose engineering because I knew I had a passion for this. Most of the society members I am talking about chose against letting me go to engineering and suggested various other fields. I see a lot of friends and classmates who take up fields they didn’t want and struggle. There has not been one day where I would say I took this and I regret it. I didn’t let anyone judge me and I proved them wrong by getting through what I love. College is somewhere students expect fun and friends, but don’t do it for the heck of doing it. Choose what you really want and run towards the future you planned for. 

When You Are The Worst At Something

Being worst at something

One phase that I would like the readers to listen to is this. I always pride myself on being good or at least average at each and every other task. But no matter how hard we try. We are going to suck or be the worst at something. In my case, it was being an athlete. I grew up with a bunch of friends who were the best runners in my school. It sucked to be the only guy in the group who wasn’t fast. It bugged me when I saw those guys getting medals for being the best at what they do. But yeah, they were my friends and I was filled with glee when they performed well. I tried high jump, I tried long jump, and pretty much fell head over heels at both the events. But as I grew up, I realized that they must be feeling the same thing about someone else or about something that they suck at. I am just not an athlete; simple as that. I don’t have to waste my time convincing people to like me for doing something I didn’t want to do at the first place. I am good at certain things, and I would rather spend my time perfecting that.

Does Anybody Actually Love Their College?

Hate my college

This I think I would share with almost all teenagers of my generation because I keep noticing people cribbing about their college no matter how good the college is. I do admit that I am one of those cribbers but I have a good standard reason behind it. But face it; we all do know that once it is done we are going to miss college a lot. I spent four years of my life with friends who I am going to miss, teachers who I will think of every time I get praised for something I did. Everybody has their point of view on why they hate their college but I yearn to hear one person I know that says they love their college for what it is. It may be strict, it may be irritating, it may have bad remarks, but it is where you are, and like school, you are not reliving the memories of an undergrad again. I have a couple of friends who study in the best colleges of my state, yet crib about their lives being boring or their need to study too much to keep up with competition, here all I can think of is that these guys are going to be considered one of India’s best students and they have so much excuses as to not work. Precisely, all we need to do is love the place we are in, and love it for what it is. I made my peace with my college and I am going to miss this place a lot and the amazing friends I have made here.

What Is Your Sexual Orientation?

Sexual Orientation

I know this is going to be quite a controversial topic, but a lot of us teens have friends or people we know who have the problem of deciding what orientation they belong to. I am not going to be biased towards any one of them too. Sexual orientation is something that depends on each and every one of you. Do not listen to what the world has to say about you and your orientation. Being straight is normal, but being gay is almost normal too. Not being straight doesn’t make someone harmful. The world is full of hypocrites who frown upon the likes of the LGBTQ community, but I don’t mind saying that we need supporters who help people “come out of the closet” as they say it. I have had the experience of knowing too such people who have either been gay or a bi. And believe me, I did not judge any one of them, instead I told them that they should face their feelings and be open about it. If you know anyone who is having troubles facing such feelings, don’t criticize them or mock them, instead be a humane person and help them face those feelings. I believe that the world doesn’t run on anybody’s rules. It isn’t important that a man and a woman have to be together. Isn’t love a feeling between any two people? Think about it. Open your eyes and widen your horizon. 

Flirting - Right of Youth

Flirting

My most important phase as a teenager was flirting. The flirting phase for me started in my mid teens only because I was a total nerd until then. I didn’t really know much about what flirting exactly was, but as a learning adolescent I was curious. Trust me; the dictionary meaning of flirting is something you are not going to like. Well, being an Indian, the Indian way of defining it would be to say something to impress the opposite gender or maybe the same gender if that’s what you are into. Flirting for me has been pretty boring because I believe in real compliments; I don’t mind calling a person good looking if I really do mean it. But here, it is really frowned upon to be someone who keeps complimenting the other person. Having the label of a “flirt” is something you wouldn’t want with your name. Teens, there is nothing wrong with healthy flirting, but I would suggest, don’t shoot blanks because that is what makes the other person judgemental. Flirting isn’t bad; it is just that people have changed their mindsets that way. Don’t take lines from the internet, because all of them are outdated. Whatever you need to say, make sure it is from the heart, and it won’t even seem like you are trying to impress the other person. Look forward to your forthcoming ventures.

Loneliness At Your Advantage

Loneliness

This has to do with all the teens and adults out there who have had their share of bad days. Yes, I have had it too. Many a times, I feel like I am lonely, not because I think nobody likes me, but only because I think it won’t make a big difference to anybody’s lives if I am not around for a while. I love my room, and I love being in the dark alone in my thoughts. I lie down and go through whatever has happened in my life and it strikes me down. It hurts to think that I am not needed by most; it kills me from the inside to know that I don’t really have anyone around all the time. The world is full of selfish people and I am not judging anybody, but wouldn’t you be filled with esteem if you knew someone was selfish but for the sake of you? Being lonely for me has been the worst case scenario. It breaks down my self confidence and increases my stress level, but I don’t think I am right in my thoughts. Sometimes things don’t go my way, but being away from the world for a significant amount of times helps me regain my confidence and be back stronger. I do that by doing something that i love doing. I write when i am lonely. I think each and every one of us must have something that we do, to make us happy especially at times like this. Loneliness for me has been a pain in the ass, but it has almost made me realize that I don’t run the world, nor is the world stopping if I am not in it. Pursuing what I need in life is my path and I am facing it alone, might as well as be lonely.

People Don't Change, Priorities Do

People Priorities

Most of the readers must have heard the saying, “people don’t change, and priorities do”. I second this saying with all my heart. I don’t think people change at all. Once a crow, is always a crow. But their priorities might change from time to time. You should never let someone show you your importance. Their actions speak for themselves. Long distance friendships and relationships don’t work they say. I think they do unless you are prone to changing your priorities or the other person is. If you are important to someone, no matter how much the distance or the time, you will stay important. If someone says they didn’t have time to talk to you, I say use the chance and get the hell out of there. No one has the time for anyone. If someone is important to you, make time for them.  Setting our priorities straight is a tough one in teenage. If someone is telling you that they need time to work things off with their career or anything personal, I am sure they might be honest about it, but if you are going to wait for them sincerely, atleast see to it that your waiting is worth it. Make sure that the other person is really working towards it. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t deserve enough of you. Remember that you are a unique person and no one else is like you. Love yourself and set your priorities straight.

Being Depressed About Something

Depression

The biggest pain for us teen’s right? Well, being depressed is a tough situation to come out of. Ask me, I have been in the worst of my cases of depression. My biggest problem is that I prefer loneliness to rather crying about what is happening in my life. I would rather sleep my day away rather than spend a lot of time working my brains off and think about something that makes me sad. A lot of people I know take anti-depressants. Honestly, I don’t think those pills would do us any good. Pills can stop you from committing suicide or from cutting your wrist, but it won’t take out the memory that you have in your head. The memory of something or someone who or that hurt you. A lot of teenagers end their life because someone they loved let go of them. I call them cowards. They are scared to move on. People who end their lives because of fear are cowards. Learn to be strong and move on with life. Don’t let pride get on you. You have a lot to see in life so don’t give up so soon. You might lose the battle, but you need to stay in the game to win the war. Talk about the problems bothering you to others, ask them what they think are the ways to overcome that sadness, don’t trust your instincts in such situations, and trust your family and friends. In times like these, a person feels very vulnerable about new friends or new found love. Avoid all that, because no rebound is healthy for anybody. Make sure of what you are doing and think wisely.

Who Is Your Go - to - Adviser

Your Go-To Adviser

Every other person has a go to adviser who they would talk to if they need advice on anything regarding life, love, or important decisions. Usually it is either a friend or someone from your family, but some rather trust no one and go to therapists who they can be open to about anything. Your go to advisor is usually the person who knows you the most. Never say that a person knows you completely, because there is a lot to know about each of you yourselves. We are pretty emotional or too practical at different modes of life, but in such situations, don’t trust your heart or your mind, and listen to the one u trust. Making tough decisions puts us at the edge of making a mistake, but someone who doesn’t have the burden of a decision can think of a good solution to it and advise us to do the right thing. I have the privilege of providing help to a lot of friends, but sadly I have no one I can talk to about a lot of troubles I have had in my life. I trust a few who I believe are experienced in certain aspects of their lives so I ask them when it is related to those aspects. Don’t follow my path in this, trust one and not many. Know who is right and who is wrong, if you can’t decide, look for help and think of the first person who would come forward to help you and go to them for advice.